Maybe I should move...

We are under a t...watch until 9 p.m. tonight. The other t-word; not thunderstorm, though those come first. I really hate this. It's so scary. I try not to be scared but nothing seems to work. Maybe I should move out of Indiana and back to CA. Maybe I don't belong here. I mean, I haven't been able to get past this fear. It turns me inside out, every time. I try to be calm and keep my mind off of it, but it doesn't work. It's so scary.

I have plans tonight but I don't want to go. I want to stay home, in my basement. But the storms will be here before I go to work. And being here with a lot of people here is more soothing than at home alone - at least, here I'm with people I love.

Change the subject...maybe that will help. :-)

I just read a story online on Eva Longoria and her "connection" to Hayden Christensen (you know, Anakin Skywalker-turned-Darth Vader). Okay, so he's a hottie and she's a hottie but them together - makes my stomach turn. Yuck! Who knows if it's really true but yuck. They don't even seem to match in any way. I don't know; I guess stars just have no parameters on who they date. As long as their "beautiful" and pretty famous at the time, it doesn't matter to them. It seems that Eva doesn't know what she wants and is going after the hot guy at the time. However, I guess it's what "normal" women and men do before they find the right one: date. But it always looks like they make out first and date later. What's that all about? Sounds kinda fishy to me but to each his own, I guess.

No, you know what? I think it's wrong. You should date someone because there's a connection between you that's strong; that could lead to marraige. People date for the fun of it now; well, more so than before. That's not right. Divorce is rampant. People don't make the right decision when it comes to their social life because they don't see it as important. Divorce is seen as okay; and it is not okay. It should be for only the worst of circumstances; not a "well, if it doesn't work out, we can always divorce." This thought comes out of the this rampant "non-chalance" about dating. Eva is gorgeous and I'm sure Hayden would love nothing more than to say he "dated" her (and vice versa for Eva). But if they are dating then I hope it's for reasons that are real - and not publicity-related. It's just icky that way. And, again, who knows if it's even true.

And I shouldn't care much about who dates who in Hollywood; it's kind of a given that lots of yucky things happen there. And though all of us have wanted to be a part of it in some way at some point in our lives - to be famous - I'm glad that I'm not connected in any way (not that I ever could be - I'm not an actress; I ballroom dance great but not great enough; and my stories will probably never be published to the point that people know my name). :-)