Committed

...in every way but one. I mean, it's as if I forget that there are only 24 hours in a day! What am I thinking? I work three days a week from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. at two very different jobs. The other two weekdays I work and then do two Bible studies. Essentially, I am gone from home from 8:45 a.m.-at least 10 p.m. during the week. Also, most Saturdays are spent at the studio from 11 a.m.- 4 p.m. My Sundays are now committed to be at church for most of the day.

What am I doing with my time? This is a good reason why I have no quiet time with the Lord anymore. It isn't that these things I'm committed to are so bad. They are all good things but there's too many of them. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend; I'm not around enough to know if I like someone and if they like me back. I'm just not that available. And I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Tonight will be nice. Our Bible study is getting together for dinner instead of study; which only means that it will be a little shorter. I love our Bible study and what we're studying but it's so nice to have an evening where all I have to do is eat and then go home. I have the opportunity today to be home before 9 p.m. - that's unheard of on a weeknight for me.

I'm enjoying teaching at the studio but I'm not enjoying the two different jobs. It's too difficult. But I haven't found anything full-time that will make me financially comfortable and stimulate me. I wish I knew what to do next - what to apply to, what to study, what to strive for. I'm so confused. I have no clear path but to keep doing what I'm doing. I just wish that something really good will happen (and when I say something, I'm thinking financially for the most part - new job, win the lottery, get out of debt sooner). That's a lot of stress. If I could just become a better steward of my money - which is arguably not mine - then maybe I can focus a little better.