Just another day...

...another ordinary day. Huh? Yeah, days aren't ever ordinary for me. But today isn't super emotional or interesting either. I'll take that...when I can get it. So I like today - a lot.

I was just thinking about next Tuesday - the dreaded Valentine's Day. I had hoped that this year would find me with a date for that evening. Yeah, I have a date...with my Bible study. I just don't know anymore if I should even be looking for a special someone. I know that I brooch this subject a lot on this blog but seriously, what am I doing? I mean God hasn't so much as put someone in my life that I have even wanted to date (and vice versa). I joke a lot that certain NFL, NBA or MLB players are just "waiting for me." But I'm joking. It's a way to not make me feel so bad about myself when it comes to the opposite sex, especially in front of all my guy friends. You know, I'm not exactly unattractive. I've stuggled with my physical self my whole life, trying to be prettier and have a better body. But really, I shouldn't be trying so hard, I am attractive without all that stuff. I've finally been able to have a better view of myself. So now, I'm kind of tired of the questions I get from my family and friends on why I haven't found someone yet because to them I'm very pretty and have an attractive personality. I wish I could just tell them "Well, I know that I'm not supposed to have one so you should stop worrying about it because I have" - but every time I get to that point something happens to make me think that a guy I like likes me back. But guess what? NOTHING HAPPENS! So, I ask again, what am I doing?

As of today, my focus has to be a career - no matter where that takes me (a new job, a new city or a new country). Because I do really want to have kids. I'd prefer to have a family unit (mother, father, 2.75 kids) but that may not be for me. So, I need to put myself in a financial place so that I can adopt.

You know, I have more than one guy friend that is older than me and they are all single. And though it seems that they are very content in their single life - I just couldn't be if I were their age. I want to have a family and a house. I think sometimes it's easier for guys to stay single longer; they get to be on their own without any woman "nagging" them. But marraige isn't all about "nagging" (btw, this is something that another friend of mine believes about marraige and he's older, too). Don't you guys think that your marraige counterparts can't stand your little "flaws" either? It's a relationship that has to be worked on continually; it's not just us, you know. It takes two to have a relationship; and when you find someone who you can't live without even if there are some things that irk you, then that's the person God has for you (especially if they feel the same way about you).

But guys like to "sow their oats." Even Christian guys do this - but in other ways. Are you about done yet? Because us aging, attractive Christian women have about had it. I know that I speak for most of my single women friends and others that I've never even met. We don't sleep around, we cook, we clean, we're intelligent, we like to be active and we are fun to be around. But apparently, if we're not a natural blonde with a big chest - well, that doesn't work for you. I don't mean to be judgemental about this but that's what I see. Unless we have "hot" bodies, even our Christian bretheren don't give us the time of day. So, on behalf of my many single girlfriends, wake up and get real, guys! You're missing out on a good thing - probably the best thing to ever happen to you.

Okay, I'm off my soap box....for now. Yeah, like the above is going to get me a date. It'll probably push guys away...but at least it's honest. And maybe it'll help some guy get off his butt and ask a girl out - and that girl may happen to be one of my friends so all the words written in this entry were worth it (even if it's not happening to me).