Yep, you guessed it. I cooked all day today...just about. I made my first paella for two freinds for lunch...then I had 9 friends over for: teriyaki stir fry, dang quesadillas, mashed potatoes, the rest of the paella, a chopped salad, vanilla ice cream with strawberries & homemade black and white chocolate chip cookies.
It was a good day. :-)
Oh, and I even was able to walk with two friends on the trial with Buster. It was so nice to walk and chat with them. I don't get to do that a lot anymore with one of them; and to see both of them talking about mommy stuff was pretty neat (they both have their first, little girls...one is almost one and the other is 1 1/2 yrs.).
Anyway, I'm exhausted! I still have to make my bed and I need to try to get to work early tomorrow.
Good Night! Oh, but it was a good day...:-)
5.17.2009
Sunday Morning
I awoke this morning to a little creature nestled beside me. Well, he was nestled in a way that when I opened my eyes, he was staring straight at me as if he were internally saying to himself, "Get up, get up, get up! I wanna go out! Oh, please wake up soon!" So as soon as I opened my eyes, he sat up from his full-body lay out, staring purch...his ears erect with anticipation that I was finally awake to let him out of bed to go outside to potty.
It was nice to wake up to such a cute little dog on a quiet, beautiful Sunday morning. I feel so at peace this morning that I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to church later but I just feel so inspired to not try to get there at 9:30 a.m....just to take my time and leave a little early to go to the bookstore, maybe get a cup of coffee and then take my seat, ready for worship & Tom's message.
It's so nice to feel at peace. I let myself get caught up in my day sometimes that I don't allow myself to wind down....and that can make me a fretful, worrisome person. I have grown so much from where I used to be in that department but I still have moments of it. But ever since I took my life back (which is a blog for another time), I don't feel like I have to do so much everyday. It's open now to the point that I can hear God so much better than before. I had allowed everyone's life around me to be so central to my life that I couldn't hear God's voice in mine...in theirs, but not in mine. And now, I'm just so at peace. I see things clearer, I have more time for study and winding down, and for working on the things in my life that God wants for me...
...like getting involved in charities that I'm called to do...not just lazily getting involved in everyone else's. It's not wrong or bad...any volunteering is needed and great to do....but some of us are called to serve in particular places for His specific purpose...and I was not doing that.
...like putting the right priorities in place...making sure that my top priorities are what they are supposed to be. I'll be honest; they were not.
...like finally being able to let go of certain things in my life that were unhealthy. Once of which was constantly worrying about what others thought of me, or analyzing every move that I make and beating myself up for not being the perfect person to everyone around me at every second.
...like getting to know me again...the person that God made me...not the one that I created by living everyone else's life. Me, unadulterated, unfiltered Tiffany Ellen Pereira. I'm not all there yet but I'm there enough that I know who I am compared to everyone else...and I'm okay with that, with my person. Yes, I will continue to change and grow and improve all the things about me that is not Christ-like...but I no longer see myself as a wretched person, just because I'm not like my friends or my family...just because I don't have their good qualities. That should be the comparison. God gave me certain gifts that He didn't give to them for a reason...and I'm very accepting of them now.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this morning. I feel so at peace but also just had this innate desire to write something on my blog. This is what came. :-)
Oh, and one more thing...I've spent an incredible week with friends. I've been able to spend quality time with the women in my life that are the most important (though there are two that I wasn't able to spend time with...that will happen soon). It was so easy and fun and natural...and I know all of them are truly my friends, even if I'm not perfect every second of every day. They love and see me through my faults, as I do them.
So, today...yes, I'm going to say it again...I'm at peace. I'm not out of debt yet, I'm not dating anyone, I don't have my own family, or even a dog. But I'm at peace and content...and I don't feel that I have to hang out with 30 people today just so I can feel complete.
Thanks, God. :-) All I need is you.
It was nice to wake up to such a cute little dog on a quiet, beautiful Sunday morning. I feel so at peace this morning that I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to church later but I just feel so inspired to not try to get there at 9:30 a.m....just to take my time and leave a little early to go to the bookstore, maybe get a cup of coffee and then take my seat, ready for worship & Tom's message.
It's so nice to feel at peace. I let myself get caught up in my day sometimes that I don't allow myself to wind down....and that can make me a fretful, worrisome person. I have grown so much from where I used to be in that department but I still have moments of it. But ever since I took my life back (which is a blog for another time), I don't feel like I have to do so much everyday. It's open now to the point that I can hear God so much better than before. I had allowed everyone's life around me to be so central to my life that I couldn't hear God's voice in mine...in theirs, but not in mine. And now, I'm just so at peace. I see things clearer, I have more time for study and winding down, and for working on the things in my life that God wants for me...
...like getting involved in charities that I'm called to do...not just lazily getting involved in everyone else's. It's not wrong or bad...any volunteering is needed and great to do....but some of us are called to serve in particular places for His specific purpose...and I was not doing that.
...like putting the right priorities in place...making sure that my top priorities are what they are supposed to be. I'll be honest; they were not.
...like finally being able to let go of certain things in my life that were unhealthy. Once of which was constantly worrying about what others thought of me, or analyzing every move that I make and beating myself up for not being the perfect person to everyone around me at every second.
...like getting to know me again...the person that God made me...not the one that I created by living everyone else's life. Me, unadulterated, unfiltered Tiffany Ellen Pereira. I'm not all there yet but I'm there enough that I know who I am compared to everyone else...and I'm okay with that, with my person. Yes, I will continue to change and grow and improve all the things about me that is not Christ-like...but I no longer see myself as a wretched person, just because I'm not like my friends or my family...just because I don't have their good qualities. That should be the comparison. God gave me certain gifts that He didn't give to them for a reason...and I'm very accepting of them now.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this morning. I feel so at peace but also just had this innate desire to write something on my blog. This is what came. :-)
Oh, and one more thing...I've spent an incredible week with friends. I've been able to spend quality time with the women in my life that are the most important (though there are two that I wasn't able to spend time with...that will happen soon). It was so easy and fun and natural...and I know all of them are truly my friends, even if I'm not perfect every second of every day. They love and see me through my faults, as I do them.
So, today...yes, I'm going to say it again...I'm at peace. I'm not out of debt yet, I'm not dating anyone, I don't have my own family, or even a dog. But I'm at peace and content...and I don't feel that I have to hang out with 30 people today just so I can feel complete.
Thanks, God. :-) All I need is you.
5.10.2009
I have two friends...
...that I got to visit and sit awhile with today. Both are mothers and great friends. And today, though they may have had brunch or dinner with thier mom or friends, weren't appreciated enough today....so I got to go and sit with them and help them to feel good, like they help me to feel good all the time. It was a blessing and an honor for me to do it.
But what was the greatest part of the day was realizing what true love really is...what it looks like, what it feels like and how it breathes. From having my mom give me meaningful looks during church service this morning, to sitting and just chatting with a friend for two hours watching the birds and squirrels play in her back yard, to being with another friend and her family while her sister is giving her a manicure....there are so many types of love. And some of us choose to miss it because we can't see beyond our own noses. We worry so much about the littlest things. If we would just see the people for who they really are; if we can only see our friends as the wonderful, messed up, put-back-together human being that they are...we'd know that they have bad days and don't mean to hurt us when they do...we'd know how they truly loved us and wouldn't do anything intentional...we'd know that we couldn't expect them to be perfect or agree with us all the time (especially when we're doing something stupid and they aren't going to allow us to do it by caring enough to tell us so)...then we'd be able to see true love.
It's not just about a man and a woman...it's about how we treat each other as people, human beings, sisters and brothers in Christ.
It's the little moments and the little things the we do for each other; and it's puting aside your differences and seeing the person past the unfortunate moment.
That's what I saw today...that's what I learned today. I have a bunch of friends ad most have been with me for awhile. But there are times where all I can see are their differences from me...and that can tend to make me a negative person. But if people weren't different than us, we'd all be the same and then how could we help each other or compliment each other (not in the self-absorbed version of the word, the meaning that helps us make each other better) or love each other?
Today, I was with two very different friends, very different than me and than each other. And both talked to each other over the phone in my presence...it was what I'm going to term "one of my life-circles" in my life cycle. It's the link between a friend I met five or six years ago, through me, to a group that I was involved in that the other friend attended for awhile, and made a friend connection with my old friend. It's a little life-circle. And I have many that I'm part of...that I'm blessed to be a part of.
So though I'm not a mother yet, or a wife or even a girlfriend again, I witnessed my own little miracle today. Though it wasn't my child, we are all God's and we're a miracle in ourselves.
Love you ladies...I mean it. :-)
But what was the greatest part of the day was realizing what true love really is...what it looks like, what it feels like and how it breathes. From having my mom give me meaningful looks during church service this morning, to sitting and just chatting with a friend for two hours watching the birds and squirrels play in her back yard, to being with another friend and her family while her sister is giving her a manicure....there are so many types of love. And some of us choose to miss it because we can't see beyond our own noses. We worry so much about the littlest things. If we would just see the people for who they really are; if we can only see our friends as the wonderful, messed up, put-back-together human being that they are...we'd know that they have bad days and don't mean to hurt us when they do...we'd know how they truly loved us and wouldn't do anything intentional...we'd know that we couldn't expect them to be perfect or agree with us all the time (especially when we're doing something stupid and they aren't going to allow us to do it by caring enough to tell us so)...then we'd be able to see true love.
It's not just about a man and a woman...it's about how we treat each other as people, human beings, sisters and brothers in Christ.
It's the little moments and the little things the we do for each other; and it's puting aside your differences and seeing the person past the unfortunate moment.
That's what I saw today...that's what I learned today. I have a bunch of friends ad most have been with me for awhile. But there are times where all I can see are their differences from me...and that can tend to make me a negative person. But if people weren't different than us, we'd all be the same and then how could we help each other or compliment each other (not in the self-absorbed version of the word, the meaning that helps us make each other better) or love each other?
Today, I was with two very different friends, very different than me and than each other. And both talked to each other over the phone in my presence...it was what I'm going to term "one of my life-circles" in my life cycle. It's the link between a friend I met five or six years ago, through me, to a group that I was involved in that the other friend attended for awhile, and made a friend connection with my old friend. It's a little life-circle. And I have many that I'm part of...that I'm blessed to be a part of.
So though I'm not a mother yet, or a wife or even a girlfriend again, I witnessed my own little miracle today. Though it wasn't my child, we are all God's and we're a miracle in ourselves.
Love you ladies...I mean it. :-)
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