Sunday Morning

I awoke this morning to a little creature nestled beside me. Well, he was nestled in a way that when I opened my eyes, he was staring straight at me as if he were internally saying to himself, "Get up, get up, get up! I wanna go out! Oh, please wake up soon!" So as soon as I opened my eyes, he sat up from his full-body lay out, staring purch...his ears erect with anticipation that I was finally awake to let him out of bed to go outside to potty.

It was nice to wake up to such a cute little dog on a quiet, beautiful Sunday morning. I feel so at peace this morning that I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to church later but I just feel so inspired to not try to get there at 9:30 a.m....just to take my time and leave a little early to go to the bookstore, maybe get a cup of coffee and then take my seat, ready for worship & Tom's message.

It's so nice to feel at peace. I let myself get caught up in my day sometimes that I don't allow myself to wind down....and that can make me a fretful, worrisome person. I have grown so much from where I used to be in that department but I still have moments of it. But ever since I took my life back (which is a blog for another time), I don't feel like I have to do so much everyday. It's open now to the point that I can hear God so much better than before. I had allowed everyone's life around me to be so central to my life that I couldn't hear God's voice in mine...in theirs, but not in mine. And now, I'm just so at peace. I see things clearer, I have more time for study and winding down, and for working on the things in my life that God wants for me...

...like getting involved in charities that I'm called to do...not just lazily getting involved in everyone else's. It's not wrong or bad...any volunteering is needed and great to do....but some of us are called to serve in particular places for His specific purpose...and I was not doing that.

...like putting the right priorities in place...making sure that my top priorities are what they are supposed to be. I'll be honest; they were not.

...like finally being able to let go of certain things in my life that were unhealthy. Once of which was constantly worrying about what others thought of me, or analyzing every move that I make and beating myself up for not being the perfect person to everyone around me at every second.

...like getting to know me again...the person that God made me...not the one that I created by living everyone else's life. Me, unadulterated, unfiltered Tiffany Ellen Pereira. I'm not all there yet but I'm there enough that I know who I am compared to everyone else...and I'm okay with that, with my person. Yes, I will continue to change and grow and improve all the things about me that is not Christ-like...but I no longer see myself as a wretched person, just because I'm not like my friends or my family...just because I don't have their good qualities. That should be the comparison. God gave me certain gifts that He didn't give to them for a reason...and I'm very accepting of them now.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this morning. I feel so at peace but also just had this innate desire to write something on my blog. This is what came. :-)

Oh, and one more thing...I've spent an incredible week with friends. I've been able to spend quality time with the women in my life that are the most important (though there are two that I wasn't able to spend time with...that will happen soon). It was so easy and fun and natural...and I know all of them are truly my friends, even if I'm not perfect every second of every day. They love and see me through my faults, as I do them.

So, today...yes, I'm going to say it again...I'm at peace. I'm not out of debt yet, I'm not dating anyone, I don't have my own family, or even a dog. But I'm at peace and content...and I don't feel that I have to hang out with 30 people today just so I can feel complete.

Thanks, God. :-) All I need is you.