or 219 days and counting...
or 31.28 weeks and counting...
or 5,256 hours and counting...
or 315,360 minutes and counting...
or 18,921,600 seconds and counting...
UNTIL...Pirates of the Caribbean II: Dead Man's Chest releases in theatres.
July 7, 2006!
I'm only a little excited. :-)
11.30.2005
11.28.2005
Woo Hoo! for after Thanksgiving sales!
Don't be jealous...all of my Christmas shopping and decorating are done - including wrapping the gifts! There are five gifts I need but I'm ordering them from the internet (actually, I did earlier today). It's so exciting to have all of this done! It's a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can breathe...at least a little.
I also was able to find someone else to do my solo for this weekend. I could've done it but not the way I wanted. The young woman who is doing it will do a great job so I'm okay with not doing it. I have too much to do this week between the other part of the musical, both jobs and cleaning for my mom's Christmas party this next weekend. It was such an answer to prayer to have her come up to me after church Sunday. I literally prayed in church Sunday morning for a sign, an answer to what He wanted me to do about it all. His answer: was to give me rest and piece of mind by having Kaila do it. I'll have another opportunity at a better time.
I'm really excited about the IU/Duke game this Wednesday. I took off work in the evening to go but the tickets I thought I had I don't have. And, of course, I can't afford other tickets so I'll be enjoying the game at home. For a split second, I thought about booking lessons until 8:15 p.m. (game starts at 9 p.m.). However, I realized that I would need this little break where I could go home, relax (meaning take a nap) and enjoy the game. Tonight, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are going to be crazy. I need one crazi-less day somewhere in there. Wednesday is the only one available. I already negotiated for it off anyway.
Seriously, if I can get past this week in one piece I then can start breathing again normally. I have my Christmas party the following weekend (Dec. 11) but the only things I'll have to do for that is make the Soupas and do the weekly cleaning of my apartment. I've already decorated, wrapped all the party gifts and did some deep cleaning this week. I'll really just have to touch up everything.
I can't wait for Sunday at 12:00 p.m. to get here. :-) That's the exact moment I can start breathing again. :-)
Tiffany
I also was able to find someone else to do my solo for this weekend. I could've done it but not the way I wanted. The young woman who is doing it will do a great job so I'm okay with not doing it. I have too much to do this week between the other part of the musical, both jobs and cleaning for my mom's Christmas party this next weekend. It was such an answer to prayer to have her come up to me after church Sunday. I literally prayed in church Sunday morning for a sign, an answer to what He wanted me to do about it all. His answer: was to give me rest and piece of mind by having Kaila do it. I'll have another opportunity at a better time.
I'm really excited about the IU/Duke game this Wednesday. I took off work in the evening to go but the tickets I thought I had I don't have. And, of course, I can't afford other tickets so I'll be enjoying the game at home. For a split second, I thought about booking lessons until 8:15 p.m. (game starts at 9 p.m.). However, I realized that I would need this little break where I could go home, relax (meaning take a nap) and enjoy the game. Tonight, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday are going to be crazy. I need one crazi-less day somewhere in there. Wednesday is the only one available. I already negotiated for it off anyway.
Seriously, if I can get past this week in one piece I then can start breathing again normally. I have my Christmas party the following weekend (Dec. 11) but the only things I'll have to do for that is make the Soupas and do the weekly cleaning of my apartment. I've already decorated, wrapped all the party gifts and did some deep cleaning this week. I'll really just have to touch up everything.
I can't wait for Sunday at 12:00 p.m. to get here. :-) That's the exact moment I can start breathing again. :-)
Tiffany
11.14.2005
Shall we dance?
Yesterday was the first time I have been to an Arthur Murray Showcase event in over 3 1/2 years. Some things have changed and some have stayed the same. But mostly, I learned a few very important things.
One - I've grown up, a lot, since then. It was fun, relaxing and not so serious this time. Yes, it was still about the students and them having a good time but there wasn't the pressure as before. Everyone seemed more comfortable, confident (except for Barbara, of course). She has to be a little stressed so that she makes sure that everything goes great for the day and the students. However, I thought of something really good for next time. Somebody (a staff member) needs to get up there early (at least an hour) to get things set up and ready before students start arriving. We didn't leave until 10 a.m. To be honest, we really should have left around 9 a.m. (no later than 9:30 a.m.) or had gone up the day before so we'd be able to get there first thing. This would've given us time to set up the camera, save tables, etc. If I'm still at the studio in February (I have stopped planning for the long term; it's day to day for me now because you never know what is going to happen), I'd be willing to do this - especially since now I have a friend who lives up there and would love to have the company. It'll lower Barbara's stress level and ensure an even more comfortable, stress-free day for the students. We would just be better prepared all around.
Two - I like my body the way it is. Yes, I still want to eat healthier and continue my workout goal to increase the support for my lower back. But I don't want to be like some of the girls who are teaching at some of the other schools. They are so teeny tiny that it makes them look anorexic. I'm positive that they are not anorexic or bulemic because a lot of dancers and people in general have high metabolisms. One of the reasons why some dancers are so tiny is that they have danced their whole lives and that has trained their body to use the food they eat quickly because of their high exercise and energy level everyday. But I used to want to be that small. No more. I watched a few performances of these tiny ladies and all I could see were how small they were and how I thought it was really unattractive. I couldn't even pay much attention to the dances (which, I have to say, of the ones I could focus on, were all really fantastic). This is only my opinion - I don't intend to persuade anyone to think like me. However, it is concerning to see how small some people can be - especially if they are a taller individual - and how our society pushes this unhealthy look upon our children. Yes, we need to somehow curb the obesity issues that are permeating our culture/country but not to the extent that we tell our kids to go on diets and to not eat. We just need to make sure they eat healthier and are active outside the home. It is up to the parents to be focused on this. They have to desire this for their kids, otherwise their kids won't desire it for themselves. Also, I love television but it's not really a good thing. It's okay to watch it but our society is made up primarily of couch potatoes now and that has a lot to do with the state of our health and the health of our kids.
Three - I have a different perspective and desire for dancing. It's supposed to be fun, easy and give you a sense of well-being. That's how I'm approaching my teaching now. People don't need 30 million steps. They need to learn how to dance and manuever around the dance floor while still having fun. I've always taught this way to an extent but after a break from all of it (I really was burnt out and I really couldn't physically teach all day anymore), I've learned that I need to be more focused on teaching this way. We all need a little more fun in life because we don't know what tomorrow brings. We need to laugh, be light-hearted and let go of things more often than we do. This is something that I need to take seriously on a personal level. If I make a mistake, it's okay. If I get up in front of everyone at the next event and do a pro-show and mess up; it's okay. It's all for fun. There should be no pressure on my partner or myself to perform perfectly. Its' for fun so it should look as good as it can for the students but not to the point that it's stress-filled - which I used to make it. That is going to change starting now.
Four - My break was necessary. I learned things that I never would have had I stayed. I'm convinced, too, that I would've burnt a lot of bridges and maybe even have suffered a mental and physical breakdown. I've learned that there are reasons that certain things happen to you in life at the times they happen. You can't see them coming, either - which is a good thing. Otherwise, we'd never learn; which means we'd never grow; and that means we'd always stay in the same place. That is just so depressing to realize. Who wants to be mediocre for their whole life? I don't know anyone who claims that their goal is to be mediocre in life.
Five - Life is short. Take advantage of the good times but don't forget about your responsibilities. It's you who makes or breaks your goals. Don't overextend yourself but don't pass up the opportunity to do things you love. Otherwise, you can become an unpleasant person, unsatisfied and depressed. Pay attention to the people you love, forgive them always, help them when times are difficult (even if you have to give them advice that they need but don't want), pray for them by name and walk through life in a way that God will tell you at those amazingly beautiful pearly gates, "Well done, My child. Welcome." Because this life really is fleeting; we die. But we can have eternal life if we want it.
It's really not that hard. We just seem to want to make it hard; as if we have to to work for it. We don't; He forgives always. It isn't something we earn; He just gives it. Remember that.
One - I've grown up, a lot, since then. It was fun, relaxing and not so serious this time. Yes, it was still about the students and them having a good time but there wasn't the pressure as before. Everyone seemed more comfortable, confident (except for Barbara, of course). She has to be a little stressed so that she makes sure that everything goes great for the day and the students. However, I thought of something really good for next time. Somebody (a staff member) needs to get up there early (at least an hour) to get things set up and ready before students start arriving. We didn't leave until 10 a.m. To be honest, we really should have left around 9 a.m. (no later than 9:30 a.m.) or had gone up the day before so we'd be able to get there first thing. This would've given us time to set up the camera, save tables, etc. If I'm still at the studio in February (I have stopped planning for the long term; it's day to day for me now because you never know what is going to happen), I'd be willing to do this - especially since now I have a friend who lives up there and would love to have the company. It'll lower Barbara's stress level and ensure an even more comfortable, stress-free day for the students. We would just be better prepared all around.
Two - I like my body the way it is. Yes, I still want to eat healthier and continue my workout goal to increase the support for my lower back. But I don't want to be like some of the girls who are teaching at some of the other schools. They are so teeny tiny that it makes them look anorexic. I'm positive that they are not anorexic or bulemic because a lot of dancers and people in general have high metabolisms. One of the reasons why some dancers are so tiny is that they have danced their whole lives and that has trained their body to use the food they eat quickly because of their high exercise and energy level everyday. But I used to want to be that small. No more. I watched a few performances of these tiny ladies and all I could see were how small they were and how I thought it was really unattractive. I couldn't even pay much attention to the dances (which, I have to say, of the ones I could focus on, were all really fantastic). This is only my opinion - I don't intend to persuade anyone to think like me. However, it is concerning to see how small some people can be - especially if they are a taller individual - and how our society pushes this unhealthy look upon our children. Yes, we need to somehow curb the obesity issues that are permeating our culture/country but not to the extent that we tell our kids to go on diets and to not eat. We just need to make sure they eat healthier and are active outside the home. It is up to the parents to be focused on this. They have to desire this for their kids, otherwise their kids won't desire it for themselves. Also, I love television but it's not really a good thing. It's okay to watch it but our society is made up primarily of couch potatoes now and that has a lot to do with the state of our health and the health of our kids.
Three - I have a different perspective and desire for dancing. It's supposed to be fun, easy and give you a sense of well-being. That's how I'm approaching my teaching now. People don't need 30 million steps. They need to learn how to dance and manuever around the dance floor while still having fun. I've always taught this way to an extent but after a break from all of it (I really was burnt out and I really couldn't physically teach all day anymore), I've learned that I need to be more focused on teaching this way. We all need a little more fun in life because we don't know what tomorrow brings. We need to laugh, be light-hearted and let go of things more often than we do. This is something that I need to take seriously on a personal level. If I make a mistake, it's okay. If I get up in front of everyone at the next event and do a pro-show and mess up; it's okay. It's all for fun. There should be no pressure on my partner or myself to perform perfectly. Its' for fun so it should look as good as it can for the students but not to the point that it's stress-filled - which I used to make it. That is going to change starting now.
Four - My break was necessary. I learned things that I never would have had I stayed. I'm convinced, too, that I would've burnt a lot of bridges and maybe even have suffered a mental and physical breakdown. I've learned that there are reasons that certain things happen to you in life at the times they happen. You can't see them coming, either - which is a good thing. Otherwise, we'd never learn; which means we'd never grow; and that means we'd always stay in the same place. That is just so depressing to realize. Who wants to be mediocre for their whole life? I don't know anyone who claims that their goal is to be mediocre in life.
Five - Life is short. Take advantage of the good times but don't forget about your responsibilities. It's you who makes or breaks your goals. Don't overextend yourself but don't pass up the opportunity to do things you love. Otherwise, you can become an unpleasant person, unsatisfied and depressed. Pay attention to the people you love, forgive them always, help them when times are difficult (even if you have to give them advice that they need but don't want), pray for them by name and walk through life in a way that God will tell you at those amazingly beautiful pearly gates, "Well done, My child. Welcome." Because this life really is fleeting; we die. But we can have eternal life if we want it.
It's really not that hard. We just seem to want to make it hard; as if we have to to work for it. We don't; He forgives always. It isn't something we earn; He just gives it. Remember that.
11.03.2005
The Sky Is Falling!
You have to go to this website: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/chickenlittle/. It is so funny! I really want to see the movie (yeah, I know, I'm 29). But it looks so funny and a great family movie (like The Incredibles). You can even download a dancing chicken on your computer to be your background. People at work love mine.
Check it out!
Check it out!
11.01.2005
What is time anyway?
How come we have to abide by time but our Creator, God, can be timeless? Sometimes I find myself wishing that time didn't exist. I know, I know. We need time to do everything everyday. Time is the underlying thing of everything: when you get up in the morning, when you have to be at work, when you eat, when you pick up the kids, when you go to sleep, etc. Everything has a time limit.
To be honest, I'm usually early at everything (sometimes a little too early). But I'd like to not feel so oppressed by time - meaning all aspects of time like age, clock and year. Plus, our time is never really spent the most valuable way. When you are at work you are supposed to work that entire time - but there are a lot of times at work where it's "slow" and you don't have anything to do. Some companies frown on filling that time with other things; but if you have no work to do, then you're wasting that time.
You see? It's a vicious cycle; and one that I wish I could figure out for myself. I want to find a better use for my time. I'm not exactly sure if writing on my blog is an accurate use of my time but at least it fills it. :-)
To be honest, I'm usually early at everything (sometimes a little too early). But I'd like to not feel so oppressed by time - meaning all aspects of time like age, clock and year. Plus, our time is never really spent the most valuable way. When you are at work you are supposed to work that entire time - but there are a lot of times at work where it's "slow" and you don't have anything to do. Some companies frown on filling that time with other things; but if you have no work to do, then you're wasting that time.
You see? It's a vicious cycle; and one that I wish I could figure out for myself. I want to find a better use for my time. I'm not exactly sure if writing on my blog is an accurate use of my time but at least it fills it. :-)
10.27.2005
There's a song...
...in Ballroom Dancing titled, "Fascination." It's a waltz rhythm and if you sang it, it would sound like this reads: Fascinaaaation. Well, I've had this song running through my head for a while now but instead of Fascination, it's saying Procrastinaaaaation. Wow! I have 8 days to finish my story. Why do I do this to myself? I have no time tomorrow, Sunday or next week. The only time I have is Saturday. You can bet that I'll be glued to my computer Saturday. It shouldn't take me long to finish writing it; it's the ten edits I'll have to do that takes the time.
I'm really having to take a much bigger look at the life right now. There is so much going on; which is good. However, it's a little jumbled right now. I just wonder how or if it's ever going to clear up. I know that God has given me direction but it's kind of like the Central Valley in the early morning: foggy. And Tully Fog, at that. If you don't know what Tully (too-lee) Fog is, here's a basic description: take the densest fog you've ever been through and multiply it by 10 times - that's Tully Fog. No kidding. I've driven through what they call bad fog here and it's not even close to Tully Fog. Tully fog is like having cumulonimbus clouds on the ground. Seriously, it's scary. Not only do you take your life into your hands if you try to drive through it; but you do the same if you try to walk at all. You can't see anything. Zip, zero, zilch. It's creepy, too, because it's almost as if it's choking you. You breathe it because it completely surrounds you. It gives me the willies just thinking about it. Definitely not one of the things I miss about California's Central Valley.
On the other hand, there's a few things I miss about living in CA: Monterey and The Sierra Nevadas. CA has everything - mountains, valleys, beaches, forests and even the desert. I've tried to take a yearly trip to Monterey but this year was out due to my job outlook. I love spending time there. It's so relaxing and always refreshes me. I like to go by myself, too. It would be nice to have a friend along with me but it's okay to be there alone. You can drive as far as you want and do what you want when you want. The only drawback is eating at a restaurant. It's a little weird dining alone but usually that feeling passes quickly for me. I have found that when dining alone in a nice restaurant, you get really fabulous service (which also means you end up leaving a bigger tip - but it's all worth the attention and good service).
I like to camp in the mountains, too. My family used to take really great camping trips near Lake Tahoe. We fished, rested in the tents, played vicious games of UNO around the campfire at night, told stories, laughed and ate the best smores ever. It was one of my favorite times of the year (if not the favorite). I want to have traditions and stuff like that for my kids, my future family. They might be a little different than when I was a kid but I want to have them nonetheless. I know that it is so important to remember where you came from and who you really are. I want to give that to my kids (if God blesses me with them - and a husband, of course).
I'm really having to take a much bigger look at the life right now. There is so much going on; which is good. However, it's a little jumbled right now. I just wonder how or if it's ever going to clear up. I know that God has given me direction but it's kind of like the Central Valley in the early morning: foggy. And Tully Fog, at that. If you don't know what Tully (too-lee) Fog is, here's a basic description: take the densest fog you've ever been through and multiply it by 10 times - that's Tully Fog. No kidding. I've driven through what they call bad fog here and it's not even close to Tully Fog. Tully fog is like having cumulonimbus clouds on the ground. Seriously, it's scary. Not only do you take your life into your hands if you try to drive through it; but you do the same if you try to walk at all. You can't see anything. Zip, zero, zilch. It's creepy, too, because it's almost as if it's choking you. You breathe it because it completely surrounds you. It gives me the willies just thinking about it. Definitely not one of the things I miss about California's Central Valley.
On the other hand, there's a few things I miss about living in CA: Monterey and The Sierra Nevadas. CA has everything - mountains, valleys, beaches, forests and even the desert. I've tried to take a yearly trip to Monterey but this year was out due to my job outlook. I love spending time there. It's so relaxing and always refreshes me. I like to go by myself, too. It would be nice to have a friend along with me but it's okay to be there alone. You can drive as far as you want and do what you want when you want. The only drawback is eating at a restaurant. It's a little weird dining alone but usually that feeling passes quickly for me. I have found that when dining alone in a nice restaurant, you get really fabulous service (which also means you end up leaving a bigger tip - but it's all worth the attention and good service).
I like to camp in the mountains, too. My family used to take really great camping trips near Lake Tahoe. We fished, rested in the tents, played vicious games of UNO around the campfire at night, told stories, laughed and ate the best smores ever. It was one of my favorite times of the year (if not the favorite). I want to have traditions and stuff like that for my kids, my future family. They might be a little different than when I was a kid but I want to have them nonetheless. I know that it is so important to remember where you came from and who you really are. I want to give that to my kids (if God blesses me with them - and a husband, of course).
10.18.2005
Laurie has more than she thinks
I received an e-mail today from a friend. It's just one of those e-mails sent by some anonymous person that is meant to encourage you. I usually don't pass them on (or look at them). This one, however, put things into perspective. In fact, I ended up making a list of things that I have in my life. I was surprised on how much I really do have. No matter how wrong my life is right now, I found I have the most important things; all the urgent things are not important. I have:
Two part-time jobs
Friends that have Bible study with me
Friends that hang out with me
A best friend 2000 miles away that calls me and makes sure that I know we will always be friends - no matter what happens or how far we live apart.
A brother who worries about me and tries to give me advice (even though he's 2 years younger)
A dad who sees something at an auction and outbids everybody for it so he can send it to me across the country just for the simple fact that he thought of me when he saw it.
A stepdad who worries about me that when he sees my car gone early in the morning figures that I never came home the night before and calls frantically to find out if I'm okay (I was and I did come home; I just actually left earlier than normal).
Parents who still want me to be close to them.
Parents who want me to succeed and will help me any way they can, including having me rent out part of their house but will give me every bit of rent back when I move out.
Co-workers who never fail to say "Good Morning" to me or ask about my weekend.
Co-workers who don't want me to leave when I get a full-time job - even though they are subjected daily to my rantings and ravings.
A successful author that tells me that I have a gift, a unique voice and should pursue my dream to be a writer.
A successful author that encourages me but criticizes me so I get better; and one that says no matter what happens, if I never get published, that I did everything I could so it isn't failing.
A student(s) who light up when I attend a ballroom party or teach a group class and say, "We're so glad that you're here."
A friend that I have seen but twice since high school that still thinks of me as one of her best friends and encourages me frequently to stay positive because the idea I have of myself is warped; it's not what she or others see.
A niece who loves and misses me even though I get to see her only about once a year. Another niece who is already grown and has been offered full athletic scholarships to college (in and outside of CA).
Four nephews who are all adorable, fun and are going to change the world for the better one day.
Friends who take me out to lunch, dinner or a movie because they'd rather spend time with me than have me decline because I can't afford to. And they don't expect me to return the favor. They just want to spend time - with me!
My health, eyesight, hearing, no cavities; the fact that I can eat by my mouth and my stepdad still has to eat one feeding a day through a tube as a result of the aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments he underwent to cure his cancer; he is two years cancer-free.
Family and friends living in at least nine states and three countries.
A grandfather that is in remission for Multiple Mylanoma.
A Bible study class that meets often outside of class and truly enjoys fellowship with each other, including me.
A small group who truly cares about each other and prays sincerely for each other.
I know that there is more - I'll add to this as I remember. I encourage you to do the same and keep it somewhere that you'll read when you feel down. We have so much more than we think. Things are never as bad as they seem when we remember how many people love us - truly, truly care about us the way we are.
Two part-time jobs
Friends that have Bible study with me
Friends that hang out with me
A best friend 2000 miles away that calls me and makes sure that I know we will always be friends - no matter what happens or how far we live apart.
A brother who worries about me and tries to give me advice (even though he's 2 years younger)
A dad who sees something at an auction and outbids everybody for it so he can send it to me across the country just for the simple fact that he thought of me when he saw it.
A stepdad who worries about me that when he sees my car gone early in the morning figures that I never came home the night before and calls frantically to find out if I'm okay (I was and I did come home; I just actually left earlier than normal).
Parents who still want me to be close to them.
Parents who want me to succeed and will help me any way they can, including having me rent out part of their house but will give me every bit of rent back when I move out.
Co-workers who never fail to say "Good Morning" to me or ask about my weekend.
Co-workers who don't want me to leave when I get a full-time job - even though they are subjected daily to my rantings and ravings.
A successful author that tells me that I have a gift, a unique voice and should pursue my dream to be a writer.
A successful author that encourages me but criticizes me so I get better; and one that says no matter what happens, if I never get published, that I did everything I could so it isn't failing.
A student(s) who light up when I attend a ballroom party or teach a group class and say, "We're so glad that you're here."
A friend that I have seen but twice since high school that still thinks of me as one of her best friends and encourages me frequently to stay positive because the idea I have of myself is warped; it's not what she or others see.
A niece who loves and misses me even though I get to see her only about once a year. Another niece who is already grown and has been offered full athletic scholarships to college (in and outside of CA).
Four nephews who are all adorable, fun and are going to change the world for the better one day.
Friends who take me out to lunch, dinner or a movie because they'd rather spend time with me than have me decline because I can't afford to. And they don't expect me to return the favor. They just want to spend time - with me!
My health, eyesight, hearing, no cavities; the fact that I can eat by my mouth and my stepdad still has to eat one feeding a day through a tube as a result of the aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments he underwent to cure his cancer; he is two years cancer-free.
Family and friends living in at least nine states and three countries.
A grandfather that is in remission for Multiple Mylanoma.
A Bible study class that meets often outside of class and truly enjoys fellowship with each other, including me.
A small group who truly cares about each other and prays sincerely for each other.
I know that there is more - I'll add to this as I remember. I encourage you to do the same and keep it somewhere that you'll read when you feel down. We have so much more than we think. Things are never as bad as they seem when we remember how many people love us - truly, truly care about us the way we are.
10.10.2005
Crazy Week
This week is going to be interesting. I have work everyday (like normal) and something planned for every evening (work, Bible study or meetings). Saturday, I have two events (but I can't afford the second so I'm probably not going). It's not until Sunday that I don't have something planned. Besides church, that's it.
As I look forward to next week, it is beginning to look the same as this week. Wow! Too many things going on. I still have to finish my last story assignment for my class, too. Yikes! I need to find a way to open up my schedule. The thing is that everything is good. Nothing planned is frivolous. Although, I could do with a little frivolous. I so really need a full-time job or to find something that gets me across this desert....and soon. :-)
One positive is that I have gained two new customers for my Mary Kay business. From thier orders, I can place a large enough monthly order to be active and to pay down my inventory. That will really help. I need to be a little more active in my business but it's hard to focus on it right now. I've been focusing on my writing but now with all these other things that I'm in, it's taken a toll.
I should just do an online show. I've never done one before. That might be a good thing to try right now. I just have to commit a time to do it. Easier said than done. :-)
As I look forward to next week, it is beginning to look the same as this week. Wow! Too many things going on. I still have to finish my last story assignment for my class, too. Yikes! I need to find a way to open up my schedule. The thing is that everything is good. Nothing planned is frivolous. Although, I could do with a little frivolous. I so really need a full-time job or to find something that gets me across this desert....and soon. :-)
One positive is that I have gained two new customers for my Mary Kay business. From thier orders, I can place a large enough monthly order to be active and to pay down my inventory. That will really help. I need to be a little more active in my business but it's hard to focus on it right now. I've been focusing on my writing but now with all these other things that I'm in, it's taken a toll.
I should just do an online show. I've never done one before. That might be a good thing to try right now. I just have to commit a time to do it. Easier said than done. :-)
9.29.2005
A first...in a long time
For the first time in a long time, I actually got out of bed and put my thoughts down on paper. It's been awhile since I woke myself up enough to do this....and last night I even turned on my computer. I shouldn't be so worried about sleep. The life of a writer lacks much in the way of sleeping. Yes, good rest is necessary to function well but when thoughts, stories, plots come at you, as a writer you have to jot them down right away. You don't want to lose it because sometimes you just can't get it back, no matter how hard you try. I finally had all the tools to do this last night and still get some sleep. I've done it before but it's been literally years since I was able to write at the drop of a hat. It's a good sign for me. Plus, it only took about 20 minutes of sleep; and I ended up being able to sleep in a few minutes this morning anyway.
Sometimes stuff just works out without you having to worry about it. So why worry?
Sometimes stuff just works out without you having to worry about it. So why worry?
9.13.2005
Changes to blog
Hi, again. I've made some changes today in my blog.
Church
I've added the links to my churches. Yes, I did just write churches. I love SOCC but I've also found a smaller church (way smaller) that I like to attend sometimes. It's SOCC but stripped down to the basics. When I want to be "quiet," I attend Exodus. However, SOCC is still my main church and I still really adore the worship and teaching.
Verses
I've added this section because it is a very important part of my life - hence the title. Many other verses can qualify as "life" verses for me but these three are the most important ones to me right now. I'll change these periodically or add to the list when I feel it is necessary.
Work
These were adjusted, also. I no longer work at SOCC so it was manditory that I remove it from that list. You can still navigate there but from the Church link section. I also added the newspapers website (my current employer) so you can check out my new "hometown." You can also now navigate directly to my personal website on marykay.com. The new link takes you directly to my page where you can peruse and order products from me online. We have recently updated our color line. You should check it out! And our Microdermabrasion Set is still the best seller of them all.
Music
I've added Plus One to this list. They started out five strong but are now three strong. In fact, I like them more now than before. Their sound is also a lot different: moving from pop to rock/alternative. They wrote and composed all the songs on their current album. Really, they just rock. Unfortunately, I don't think they have had the monetary success that they had when they were a "boy band." But I seriously hope that they'll come out with another CD like the last one. Keep rockin', boys!
That be it. Have fun checkin' out the new links!
Church
I've added the links to my churches. Yes, I did just write churches. I love SOCC but I've also found a smaller church (way smaller) that I like to attend sometimes. It's SOCC but stripped down to the basics. When I want to be "quiet," I attend Exodus. However, SOCC is still my main church and I still really adore the worship and teaching.
Verses
I've added this section because it is a very important part of my life - hence the title. Many other verses can qualify as "life" verses for me but these three are the most important ones to me right now. I'll change these periodically or add to the list when I feel it is necessary.
Work
These were adjusted, also. I no longer work at SOCC so it was manditory that I remove it from that list. You can still navigate there but from the Church link section. I also added the newspapers website (my current employer) so you can check out my new "hometown." You can also now navigate directly to my personal website on marykay.com. The new link takes you directly to my page where you can peruse and order products from me online. We have recently updated our color line. You should check it out! And our Microdermabrasion Set is still the best seller of them all.
Music
I've added Plus One to this list. They started out five strong but are now three strong. In fact, I like them more now than before. Their sound is also a lot different: moving from pop to rock/alternative. They wrote and composed all the songs on their current album. Really, they just rock. Unfortunately, I don't think they have had the monetary success that they had when they were a "boy band." But I seriously hope that they'll come out with another CD like the last one. Keep rockin', boys!
That be it. Have fun checkin' out the new links!
9.02.2005
I fear for the safety...
...of our President. I understand that he wants to see the devastation of Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. But to take walking tours of areas that are unsettle and have idiot people shooting at others instead of helping each other is this time of need is not a smart thing. I do not want my president to get hurt. These people have guns and they are too desperate to be civil. I'm very scared for him. It is upsetting me so much. Seriously, I'm livid that they are allowing him to do this. I know he wants to be there for his people but its just too dangerous. It's not that I don't have faith in our FBI, CIA or whoever protects him but situations like this are unstable, unpredictable.
I am going to seriously pray and hope that they do not allow him to walk through New Orleans, at least. I have even more respect for him for wanting to do it at all. But I fear for his life. No matter what others might say, he is a very strong president. He doesn't back down to a challenge and he tries to protect this country the best he can (when others before him have weakened it). He is the true example of being an American. He doesn't know what quit means or what a coward is. I know he isn't perfect but I'm proud to be an American because of his leadership. He rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.
I just hope others will see that, too - especially since he's going into harms way to be with his people.
I am going to seriously pray and hope that they do not allow him to walk through New Orleans, at least. I have even more respect for him for wanting to do it at all. But I fear for his life. No matter what others might say, he is a very strong president. He doesn't back down to a challenge and he tries to protect this country the best he can (when others before him have weakened it). He is the true example of being an American. He doesn't know what quit means or what a coward is. I know he isn't perfect but I'm proud to be an American because of his leadership. He rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.
I just hope others will see that, too - especially since he's going into harms way to be with his people.
8.08.2005
Guys...then fun movie but not a "good" movie
Okay, so I'm over the guy thing...mostly. My mom and I had a good talk the other day; it wasn't long but it was very informative. The gist of the conversation was this: I believe that there is one person best suited for everyone and she thinks that I should just find someone suitable and make it work. That's not how I work. If God doesn't bring me to him, then he's not for me. I'm very strong in this point. I will not budge. I have dated but am unwilling to date at the present time unless it's with a guy I think has his morals right and we're both attracted to each other. There are guys that I'm interested in but, after doing a little "research," they, at this time, aren't interested in me. And I'm okay with that, especially since I'm not strongly attracted to any of them. It's a bad time for me anyway. I need to be focusing on getting out of debt, out of my parents house in a year and establishing something of a career.
Oh, and that other guy I talked about, that's calmed down for the moment. Of course, I don't see him a lot so it's easy to not think about him. But isn't it a sign that if I'm not thinking of him all the time that I'm really not that interested in the first place? Doesn't that mean that it was just a little crush or acknowledgement of a small attraction? Or am I being really stupid and worrying too much about this when it's not supposed to be this hard to hook up with someone in the first place? BTW, "hook up" to me is just dating someone; not the other reference. That won't happen for me until I'm married. :-)
Enough about that. :-)
I did go to see a pretty fun movie Friday. It wasn't a "good" movie but it did entertain me; and I believe it will entertain those who go to it and accept it as it was meant to be. I saw "The Dukes of Hazzard." The car chases were good, the driving was excellent and the whole "good ol' boy" feel was there but it was definitely not the TV show. It was the Dukes as present day hillbillies (they even had cell phones). And though the movie did entertain me, I have to agree with a lot of other folks: the best parts of the movie were when the General Lee was on screen. But, to be fair, the movie was meant to be what it was. And for what it was, I enjoyed it. Also, the music during the car chases was very well selected. It made them even better and you got into the whole sequence. B-/C+
There was too much cussing and sexual conotations in the movie for my taste - which was the main reason why I gave it the above score. Yes, there was some sexual innuendo in the TV show but not as blatant as in the film. Though with a Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott film, you can't expect much better. Sorry, guys. :-) I just don't happen to be someone who enjoys crude/sexual (even mildly so) films. But to be completely honest, I really went to see the car in action. And I wasn't disappointed. :-)
Now, I'm waiting for "Underclassman" and "Aeon Flux" to come out. The latter just interests me because I watched the MTV show a few times. It was actually a bit interesting. The former I want to see because I think Nick Cannon is one of the funniest actors/comedians we have right now (his show, "Wild n'Out," is a blast to watch).
There are two other movies coming out this winter that I'm really excited for, too: Zathura and Narnia. They both look very promising. :-)
Oh, and that other guy I talked about, that's calmed down for the moment. Of course, I don't see him a lot so it's easy to not think about him. But isn't it a sign that if I'm not thinking of him all the time that I'm really not that interested in the first place? Doesn't that mean that it was just a little crush or acknowledgement of a small attraction? Or am I being really stupid and worrying too much about this when it's not supposed to be this hard to hook up with someone in the first place? BTW, "hook up" to me is just dating someone; not the other reference. That won't happen for me until I'm married. :-)
Enough about that. :-)
I did go to see a pretty fun movie Friday. It wasn't a "good" movie but it did entertain me; and I believe it will entertain those who go to it and accept it as it was meant to be. I saw "The Dukes of Hazzard." The car chases were good, the driving was excellent and the whole "good ol' boy" feel was there but it was definitely not the TV show. It was the Dukes as present day hillbillies (they even had cell phones). And though the movie did entertain me, I have to agree with a lot of other folks: the best parts of the movie were when the General Lee was on screen. But, to be fair, the movie was meant to be what it was. And for what it was, I enjoyed it. Also, the music during the car chases was very well selected. It made them even better and you got into the whole sequence. B-/C+
There was too much cussing and sexual conotations in the movie for my taste - which was the main reason why I gave it the above score. Yes, there was some sexual innuendo in the TV show but not as blatant as in the film. Though with a Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott film, you can't expect much better. Sorry, guys. :-) I just don't happen to be someone who enjoys crude/sexual (even mildly so) films. But to be completely honest, I really went to see the car in action. And I wasn't disappointed. :-)
Now, I'm waiting for "Underclassman" and "Aeon Flux" to come out. The latter just interests me because I watched the MTV show a few times. It was actually a bit interesting. The former I want to see because I think Nick Cannon is one of the funniest actors/comedians we have right now (his show, "Wild n'Out," is a blast to watch).
There are two other movies coming out this winter that I'm really excited for, too: Zathura and Narnia. They both look very promising. :-)
7.19.2005
Checking in...out guys
Okay, so I haven't written on my blog in awhile. I've just been so busy. I've started a new job, moved into a new apartment and am in the process of turning my temporary job into a permanent one (it's still only part-time but it's a job nonetheless). I've found, too, that with this new job I have the time to pursue some of my other interests that can also add to my bank account. I have to be very strict with my money for the next year still but I may come out of this next year having finally succeeded in life in some way. I've never been so excited to be me - and to see what God has in store for me for my future. I just wish I didn't have to contend with this massive debt, too. :-('
Really, the biggest news I have is that my temporary job at the newspaper turned into a permanent one. It's a little more money with a few less hours but it's permanent - which to me means I have a place to go to work everyday. I'll just have to find other means to make money that will pay for other stuff. But it's good that I like it here and they like me. I transition a week from tomorrow so it will be good to finally have permanence. But it will also be sad that I don't get to work at this desk. I'll be fine across the room but the desk that I'm at is very lively because it's right on the other side of the cubicle from the artists (who are all so funny) and it's in front of the inside sales people's desks (who are also funny in their banter with each other and me). But I will get to know two other sales reps and I think that I'll learn a lot from them, too.
I have to say something else, too, that's been a little weird in the last two days. My friends birthday was Sunday. I was invited to lunch with her and some other friends in celebration. There was a person there that I just didn't think to expect there and it affected me. In fact, I tried not to look at this person the whole time because when I saw this person I was directly affected and I didn't know how to deal with that. I can't like this person. This person and I just wouldn't work and I hate that I know that I still want something to happen. I'm so curious about what goes on in their head and where they come from and what makes them who they are and why they do what they do. It's so crazy because I know things would not work for us from what I've already experienced - but I still found myself drawn to him (okay, so we all know that it's a guy I'm talking about). He's attractive but what gets me is that that isn't why I'm still drawn to him. I'm hoping that I find out I'm still attracted to him just because I'm a woman who loves sports and want to find out why we aren't closer friends or at least sports friends. But I still have this deep feeling that I really like him. And that's so absurd because he is so not attracted to me in anyway. I hate that I always get attracted to the wrong guys. They may be "right guys" in the sense that they're good guys but they're wrong because they're wrong for me.
Anyway, I just didn't want to deal with this now especially when dating anyone should really be out of the question. I have so much debt to take care of and that means I have to work a lot. I won't have a lot of time. If it's something that God wants for me to do, though, - you know, date someone - then I won't be able to say no to the guy who asks. You know, I need to stop thinking about this and just let God handle it.
It's hard, though, he just looked so amazing with those glasses on, so intelligent and sexy. I'd never seen him with glasses. Plus, he's nine years older; I'm too immature for that to work out. Again, so stupid to be attracted to him - so I'll have to do my best to not be. :-) But I can't promise that if he invites me to a ballgame that I won't go (and of course I will make sure that I pay for the ticket this time even if he got them for free). I'll just have to be myself but on my best behavior, too. Maybe he'll have a girlfriend by then and he'll be totally unavailable. That would be very helpful for me to not like him - in any way. Please, please, please, Lord. Give him a girlfriend (a nice one who may end up his wife one day). And help me to be attracted to the right guys for me. I just want to be attracted to the one that you have created to live in eternity with me; the one who you created me for. That's all. Amen.
Really, the biggest news I have is that my temporary job at the newspaper turned into a permanent one. It's a little more money with a few less hours but it's permanent - which to me means I have a place to go to work everyday. I'll just have to find other means to make money that will pay for other stuff. But it's good that I like it here and they like me. I transition a week from tomorrow so it will be good to finally have permanence. But it will also be sad that I don't get to work at this desk. I'll be fine across the room but the desk that I'm at is very lively because it's right on the other side of the cubicle from the artists (who are all so funny) and it's in front of the inside sales people's desks (who are also funny in their banter with each other and me). But I will get to know two other sales reps and I think that I'll learn a lot from them, too.
I have to say something else, too, that's been a little weird in the last two days. My friends birthday was Sunday. I was invited to lunch with her and some other friends in celebration. There was a person there that I just didn't think to expect there and it affected me. In fact, I tried not to look at this person the whole time because when I saw this person I was directly affected and I didn't know how to deal with that. I can't like this person. This person and I just wouldn't work and I hate that I know that I still want something to happen. I'm so curious about what goes on in their head and where they come from and what makes them who they are and why they do what they do. It's so crazy because I know things would not work for us from what I've already experienced - but I still found myself drawn to him (okay, so we all know that it's a guy I'm talking about). He's attractive but what gets me is that that isn't why I'm still drawn to him. I'm hoping that I find out I'm still attracted to him just because I'm a woman who loves sports and want to find out why we aren't closer friends or at least sports friends. But I still have this deep feeling that I really like him. And that's so absurd because he is so not attracted to me in anyway. I hate that I always get attracted to the wrong guys. They may be "right guys" in the sense that they're good guys but they're wrong because they're wrong for me.
Anyway, I just didn't want to deal with this now especially when dating anyone should really be out of the question. I have so much debt to take care of and that means I have to work a lot. I won't have a lot of time. If it's something that God wants for me to do, though, - you know, date someone - then I won't be able to say no to the guy who asks. You know, I need to stop thinking about this and just let God handle it.
It's hard, though, he just looked so amazing with those glasses on, so intelligent and sexy. I'd never seen him with glasses. Plus, he's nine years older; I'm too immature for that to work out. Again, so stupid to be attracted to him - so I'll have to do my best to not be. :-) But I can't promise that if he invites me to a ballgame that I won't go (and of course I will make sure that I pay for the ticket this time even if he got them for free). I'll just have to be myself but on my best behavior, too. Maybe he'll have a girlfriend by then and he'll be totally unavailable. That would be very helpful for me to not like him - in any way. Please, please, please, Lord. Give him a girlfriend (a nice one who may end up his wife one day). And help me to be attracted to the right guys for me. I just want to be attracted to the one that you have created to live in eternity with me; the one who you created me for. That's all. Amen.
6.29.2005
Exciting news!
Something great just happened...and it couldn't of happened at a better time - even though things really aren't that bad right now. I just got word from my instructor - with a few small tweaks, my story is ready to start being submitted! She even gave me a place where I should start to submit it. It's an online magazine that's fairly new but she thinks it will take of and be very successful. She knows the editor and thinks that it would be a good opportunity for me to break into the business. I'm so excited about it that I don't want to work right now and just want to go home, make some changes and submit it right away! That's how excited I am! But I do have to work and it is a fairly busy day so it will have to wait. Plus, the guys that are going to set up the new computer won't be there until later today so I can't write or fix anything. But at least its a small step in the right direction - both in my writing and my life-path. :-)
Well, I really better get back to work. I just couldn't hold this excitement in; I had to do something and this is quick, easy and only takes a few moments out of my day. :-) Woo Hoo!
Well, I really better get back to work. I just couldn't hold this excitement in; I had to do something and this is quick, easy and only takes a few moments out of my day. :-) Woo Hoo!
6.20.2005
My life is full, I think
I know this is the second time already today but I just had a thought (and I have nothing to do at the moment at work): My life is full, I think. I mean, looking at what I have in my life, I should be extremely happy (even with the frequent, "You should go on e-harmony.com" comments from my mom). I have a family who loves me and helps me even when they don't have to. I have friends in at least four states and one other country. I have a car, a job (though temporary), my health and have found my Savior. So why do I still get depressed at times? I'm not now; and I know that I want to have a family one day and want to get my thoughts out on paper for people to read - but I have everything else. So why do I , and people like me, still get depressed at times? What is it that we truly long for? Am I really longing for love, in a romantic way? To be honest, I'm a little scared of it. I have waited a long time; and I don't want to fall in love with the wrong person. But I want to love and be loved (and no, I'm not talking about sex; that isn't love - it's a physical expression between a husband and a wife, of which, yes, I really do want to have some day - with my husband).
I just realized why I'm having these thoughts: a friend of mine had two dates last weekend. I was a little jealous, I admit it. Another friend of mine just announced that he's engaged. So I guess my question is why haven't I even found someone I truly want to date and that who truly wants to date me? LOL! I'm so all-over-the-place at times. I just remembered that in my last entry I was so okay with not having someone because I don't have time. And now, here I am talking about how I question why I don't. It's so funny to be me sometimes. And no, I'm not blonde (no offense to those who are; but it is a well-observed stereotype and I have blonde friends who don't take any offense to it and actually use it to their advantage). I'm a proud brunette who thinks too much sometimes and talks way too much. However, I'm sticking to my story about the talking thing: I really do think God gave me a quota of words to say everyday. So if anyone has a problem, they need to take it up with Him. Plus, I think better when I'm talking; it helps me to work it out in my head. I don't know why I have to do things this way, but I do.
None of this means that I'm super-intelligent or super-stupid. It just means that sometimes I try to rationalize things to the point that I forget why I was concerned by it in the first place. Things need to be simple. And isn't it the simple answers that always end up being the best answers to our questions? :-)
I just realized why I'm having these thoughts: a friend of mine had two dates last weekend. I was a little jealous, I admit it. Another friend of mine just announced that he's engaged. So I guess my question is why haven't I even found someone I truly want to date and that who truly wants to date me? LOL! I'm so all-over-the-place at times. I just remembered that in my last entry I was so okay with not having someone because I don't have time. And now, here I am talking about how I question why I don't. It's so funny to be me sometimes. And no, I'm not blonde (no offense to those who are; but it is a well-observed stereotype and I have blonde friends who don't take any offense to it and actually use it to their advantage). I'm a proud brunette who thinks too much sometimes and talks way too much. However, I'm sticking to my story about the talking thing: I really do think God gave me a quota of words to say everyday. So if anyone has a problem, they need to take it up with Him. Plus, I think better when I'm talking; it helps me to work it out in my head. I don't know why I have to do things this way, but I do.
None of this means that I'm super-intelligent or super-stupid. It just means that sometimes I try to rationalize things to the point that I forget why I was concerned by it in the first place. Things need to be simple. And isn't it the simple answers that always end up being the best answers to our questions? :-)
Just FYI
I had a very productive weekend. My stepdad and I moved some of my stuff over to the house on Saturday. It may have only been one load but it was so nice to come home to a slightly sparse townhouse and see that things have started to get going. Pretty much everything in my townhouse is mine; my roommate has very few items in it (besides what is in her room). I hope to move the majority of the rest of my furniture this next Saturday. I hope that I can find some people to help. I don't want my stepdad and I doing everything.
I spent most of the day with my parents on Sunday. We went to lunch to celebrate Father's Day, looked at computers for them at Best Buy (I'm inheriting their old one - YES!), and then Dave and I went to see "Batman Begins." He wanted to see it and I didn't mind seeing it again so we went. He enjoyed it. It was nice to do something with him on Father's Day. Though, I did think that my dad probably misses being with us (Aaron and I) on Father's Day. It's been a long time since that happened. It's another thought that has further encouraged me to wait for hte right person. I do not want my kids to go through what I went through. I know that I cannot control anything but I can control who I date and who I marry.
And, I'm sorry, Mom, but I just can't go out with any guy. It's not how I'm wired. And I'm not too old. My generation is waiting because we've seen what's happened with the divorce rate from previous generations and we've learned to be patient. And, if God really does want me to meet the love of my life through the internet, then He'll lead me there. Right now, I have no inclination from Him to pursue that. To pursue a family, yes. But on His timeline, not my mom's or mine or anyone else's. Yes, it's hard to have to wait so long but I know in my heart that it will be right when He says it's time. And that doesn't mean that the next guy I seriously date will be the one. It just means that I'll be ready to pursue a relationship; whether or not he turns out to be my soulmate. And, really, there is no one right now that lights my socks on fire in any way. Not even a small attraction. Plus, I'm too busy right now trying to get my finances right (my life in order); if it's going to happen now it's going to have to happen so plainly that it's like a 2x4 hitting me in the head. :-)
Anyway, enough about that. I'm tired of having that conversation. All I want is to get out of debt and into my own place in the next two years. I want to get published; even if it's only one story. I hope it's more than just one; but I'll settle for one right now. That means that I need to start submitting ones that I have and get ready to be rejected many times before one of them is accepted.
Here's to developing a thick skin, which I don't have right now. :-)
I spent most of the day with my parents on Sunday. We went to lunch to celebrate Father's Day, looked at computers for them at Best Buy (I'm inheriting their old one - YES!), and then Dave and I went to see "Batman Begins." He wanted to see it and I didn't mind seeing it again so we went. He enjoyed it. It was nice to do something with him on Father's Day. Though, I did think that my dad probably misses being with us (Aaron and I) on Father's Day. It's been a long time since that happened. It's another thought that has further encouraged me to wait for hte right person. I do not want my kids to go through what I went through. I know that I cannot control anything but I can control who I date and who I marry.
And, I'm sorry, Mom, but I just can't go out with any guy. It's not how I'm wired. And I'm not too old. My generation is waiting because we've seen what's happened with the divorce rate from previous generations and we've learned to be patient. And, if God really does want me to meet the love of my life through the internet, then He'll lead me there. Right now, I have no inclination from Him to pursue that. To pursue a family, yes. But on His timeline, not my mom's or mine or anyone else's. Yes, it's hard to have to wait so long but I know in my heart that it will be right when He says it's time. And that doesn't mean that the next guy I seriously date will be the one. It just means that I'll be ready to pursue a relationship; whether or not he turns out to be my soulmate. And, really, there is no one right now that lights my socks on fire in any way. Not even a small attraction. Plus, I'm too busy right now trying to get my finances right (my life in order); if it's going to happen now it's going to have to happen so plainly that it's like a 2x4 hitting me in the head. :-)
Anyway, enough about that. I'm tired of having that conversation. All I want is to get out of debt and into my own place in the next two years. I want to get published; even if it's only one story. I hope it's more than just one; but I'll settle for one right now. That means that I need to start submitting ones that I have and get ready to be rejected many times before one of them is accepted.
Here's to developing a thick skin, which I don't have right now. :-)
6.15.2005
Batman Begins...the Best of the Best
Seriously! Wow! Great movie. Great direction. Great performances. All-around great movie. I saw the first showing last night, expecting only something a little better than the previous three. I was blown away. It's a great interpretation and representation of who Batman is and should always be portrayed. In my opinion, it was the best of the recent five movies. I rank them 5, 1, 3, 2, 4. And, yes, Christian just edged Michael Keaton as the best Batman. He just was so believable as having a dark side and a compassionate side. Compassion was easy to see in Keaton; dark-side, not so much.
And, can I say that he was so hot? I know he's married and has a kid but that doesn't mean that the rest of us can't appreciate his appearance. I am not lusting in any way after him; you just can't help but notice his "hotness." And it's about time he started getting some credit for his skills. He is a great actor; and I so hope that he continues to choose roles that distinguish him as a great actor. He can carry a film by himself, if he has the right script. But, to me, I think he's made some mediocre films bearable because of his dedication to the character he is portraying. I hope, too, that we can see him in more movies - but I also wish for him to have a lot of time with his young family. Or at least, through what I think will be his breakout performance celebrity-wise (everyone already knows he's underrated as an actor), I hope he and his family will stay strong and not allow the outside world to touch their most precious commodity - each other.
One last time - AWESOME MOVIE! Y'all need to go see it. :-)
And, can I say that he was so hot? I know he's married and has a kid but that doesn't mean that the rest of us can't appreciate his appearance. I am not lusting in any way after him; you just can't help but notice his "hotness." And it's about time he started getting some credit for his skills. He is a great actor; and I so hope that he continues to choose roles that distinguish him as a great actor. He can carry a film by himself, if he has the right script. But, to me, I think he's made some mediocre films bearable because of his dedication to the character he is portraying. I hope, too, that we can see him in more movies - but I also wish for him to have a lot of time with his young family. Or at least, through what I think will be his breakout performance celebrity-wise (everyone already knows he's underrated as an actor), I hope he and his family will stay strong and not allow the outside world to touch their most precious commodity - each other.
One last time - AWESOME MOVIE! Y'all need to go see it. :-)
6.14.2005
Malibu and Paul Walker
No, I'm not going there. In fact, come to think about it, I've actually never been there and I lived in CA most of my life. But I did just return from Malibu Grill, a restaurant here in Bloomington. One of the sales reps I work for took me out for lunch. It was nice. We got to know each other and came to realize that our lives parallel in many ways. She is from Southern Indiana and ended up working in San Francisco for a few years. Like myself, she longed to return to her home of Indiana and the Midwest (well, technically, I longed to get out of CA but you can see the similarity in it). She loved going to Monterey; also a great love of mine. She's the surprising rebel of her family, too - just like me. We're easy going and good women but have always longed to fly the coop, as it were. Sorry, I live in Indiana now so my lingo is much more country. :-) And this is only a blog; I don't have to be grammatically correct if I don't want to. :-) So, it was very nice to find so many similar experiences with a new friend. :-)
The other two exciting things right now for me are so minimal but have made this day so easy to live in. The first is that I just bought the Backstreet Boys new CD, "Never Gone." It's awesome! Their vocals are so much more mature and the musicality is at a much higher level. It's definitely not cookie cutter pop like some of the previous albums were (I say some because not all of their previous four CD's were this way; I thought Black and Blue was a nice break from the previous two CD's). But Never Gone is so great because each song is different and holds its own; and yet they work together nicely as one CD. Kudos, guys! I'm a bigger fan than ever. :-) I can't wait till work is over so I can listen to it again.
The other exciting thing is that Batman Begins comes out tonight. Christian Bale is my favorite actor; I've even seen movies he's made that I should never have seen because of their graphic content - namely American Psycho. He did a great job in that movie but that wasn't a movie for me at all. It still creeps me out. Anyway, I've also been a big fan of the Batman films. Though I still think that Michael Keaton was the best Batman to date (even with Batman Returns on his resume), I've enjoyed all the Batman movies, including all the villians (minus the Penguin) and the atmosphere of each movie. I'm even more excited for this one because Christian is in it and I think he can bring the respect back that some people (namely critics) have taken away from it - and he's hot.
Speaking of hot actors, there is one that just gets me every time he is on the screen: Paul Walker. As a Christian girl, I continually have to thank the Good Lord for making such a fine man and move on. But it is very hard sometimes to stop those unholy thought processes. I've even watched some bad movies because he was in them. But, to his credit, the reason why they were bad was not because of his acting. Sometimes the writing is to blame; and that's hard to say coming from someone who wants to be a writer. Don't think too bad of me and my thoughts, though. It isn't as if we do bad things in my thoughts; it's just that lust is lust no matter what is involved. And to think about a guy for extended periods of time who is not your significant other is being lustful (even if you don't have one at the time, which is my current situation). So, of late, I've said many a prayer for the specific purpose of stopping my lustful thoughts and in each one I've thanked the Lord for making such a fine-looking man. You see, it's okay to look but that's it. To dwell upon something like this is not a good thing; and it isn't healthy. :-) But I had to be honest and I had to say something about my recent "sinfulness." Maybe now I can stop thinking so much about him - and I think staying away from MTV would help. They keep playing the movie awards over and over, and the only thing I really watch in them is who was voted best kiss - this year, he happened to be one of the presenters for Best Kiss. Let's put it this way, I've purposely watched the whole thing to know where in the show this award comes so I can watch it during reruns. Yeah, sad, I know. I'm honest. I know it's pathetic; he's just so good looking. :-)
And he reminds me of the things that I do miss about CA: the beach and the mountains...and the weather. The great thing about the Midwest is that you actually have all 4 seasons. Count them...1, 2, 3, 4 seasons. Not 1 1/2. It's so pretty here; but I could definitely do without the thunderstorms, as you well know. I want to take a long weekend in the next month to go to the beach in Monterey but with the long flight and my work schedule, it wouldn't even be worth the cost - to me. To a rich person, maybe. To me, it's too costly - especially since right now I don't have any money to spend on vacation. Just on bills, the Backstreet Boys and Batman. :-) Guess I need to light my ocean water-scented Yankee candle tonight, huh? I can at least similate the beach. :-)
The other two exciting things right now for me are so minimal but have made this day so easy to live in. The first is that I just bought the Backstreet Boys new CD, "Never Gone." It's awesome! Their vocals are so much more mature and the musicality is at a much higher level. It's definitely not cookie cutter pop like some of the previous albums were (I say some because not all of their previous four CD's were this way; I thought Black and Blue was a nice break from the previous two CD's). But Never Gone is so great because each song is different and holds its own; and yet they work together nicely as one CD. Kudos, guys! I'm a bigger fan than ever. :-) I can't wait till work is over so I can listen to it again.
The other exciting thing is that Batman Begins comes out tonight. Christian Bale is my favorite actor; I've even seen movies he's made that I should never have seen because of their graphic content - namely American Psycho. He did a great job in that movie but that wasn't a movie for me at all. It still creeps me out. Anyway, I've also been a big fan of the Batman films. Though I still think that Michael Keaton was the best Batman to date (even with Batman Returns on his resume), I've enjoyed all the Batman movies, including all the villians (minus the Penguin) and the atmosphere of each movie. I'm even more excited for this one because Christian is in it and I think he can bring the respect back that some people (namely critics) have taken away from it - and he's hot.
Speaking of hot actors, there is one that just gets me every time he is on the screen: Paul Walker. As a Christian girl, I continually have to thank the Good Lord for making such a fine man and move on. But it is very hard sometimes to stop those unholy thought processes. I've even watched some bad movies because he was in them. But, to his credit, the reason why they were bad was not because of his acting. Sometimes the writing is to blame; and that's hard to say coming from someone who wants to be a writer. Don't think too bad of me and my thoughts, though. It isn't as if we do bad things in my thoughts; it's just that lust is lust no matter what is involved. And to think about a guy for extended periods of time who is not your significant other is being lustful (even if you don't have one at the time, which is my current situation). So, of late, I've said many a prayer for the specific purpose of stopping my lustful thoughts and in each one I've thanked the Lord for making such a fine-looking man. You see, it's okay to look but that's it. To dwell upon something like this is not a good thing; and it isn't healthy. :-) But I had to be honest and I had to say something about my recent "sinfulness." Maybe now I can stop thinking so much about him - and I think staying away from MTV would help. They keep playing the movie awards over and over, and the only thing I really watch in them is who was voted best kiss - this year, he happened to be one of the presenters for Best Kiss. Let's put it this way, I've purposely watched the whole thing to know where in the show this award comes so I can watch it during reruns. Yeah, sad, I know. I'm honest. I know it's pathetic; he's just so good looking. :-)
And he reminds me of the things that I do miss about CA: the beach and the mountains...and the weather. The great thing about the Midwest is that you actually have all 4 seasons. Count them...1, 2, 3, 4 seasons. Not 1 1/2. It's so pretty here; but I could definitely do without the thunderstorms, as you well know. I want to take a long weekend in the next month to go to the beach in Monterey but with the long flight and my work schedule, it wouldn't even be worth the cost - to me. To a rich person, maybe. To me, it's too costly - especially since right now I don't have any money to spend on vacation. Just on bills, the Backstreet Boys and Batman. :-) Guess I need to light my ocean water-scented Yankee candle tonight, huh? I can at least similate the beach. :-)
6.10.2005
Day 8: Then end of my first official week
It's official! I have completed my first full week at my new, albeit temporary, job. It was a crazy day, too! But with deadlines, it makes the time go much quicker. I stayed through lunch and can go home, I htink. However, my supervisor isn't here and I'm not sure if the 9-5 thing is literal; I do know that I'm supposed to only work for 7 hours. So I'm not sure what to do; I decided to write on my blog instead.
It stormed here an hour ago pretty good. But it's light rain now and looks like there aren't too many more storms coming through. At least, I hope there isn't. I want to go home and relax. I had plans to go out but I really need to be inside working on my story and going over my finances. I need to sleep tonight; and even though I know that I'll be okay, I just couldn't get it out of my head last night so I barely slept. So once I get those two "headaches" out of the way, I'll feel much better. In fact, the idea of going to the farmer's market tomorrow is so much more appealing. I am so craving fresh veggies! Of course, that could be because I'm dying to use my grill and I love grilling vegetables for sandwiches or as sides to other grilled dishes. :-)
So, though today was crazy, it was fun. Now, I am so excited for the weekend. I want to do lots of fun stuff and just relax. And I can't wait until I start swimming again. I just have to sign up for the next membership at the Y when my mom can come with me; we're going to go in together on it since I'm moving in with her and my stepdad in a month. I'll have my own little apartment in the basement and save money (and pay down debts). Then, in a year, I hope to have my own place (will still probably have to rent for awhile; one year isn't long enough to get out of debt but enough to pay it down) and a full-time job. I just don't know if that's going to be in Bloomington or not. Only God knows that and he isn't giving it up. :-)
It stormed here an hour ago pretty good. But it's light rain now and looks like there aren't too many more storms coming through. At least, I hope there isn't. I want to go home and relax. I had plans to go out but I really need to be inside working on my story and going over my finances. I need to sleep tonight; and even though I know that I'll be okay, I just couldn't get it out of my head last night so I barely slept. So once I get those two "headaches" out of the way, I'll feel much better. In fact, the idea of going to the farmer's market tomorrow is so much more appealing. I am so craving fresh veggies! Of course, that could be because I'm dying to use my grill and I love grilling vegetables for sandwiches or as sides to other grilled dishes. :-)
So, though today was crazy, it was fun. Now, I am so excited for the weekend. I want to do lots of fun stuff and just relax. And I can't wait until I start swimming again. I just have to sign up for the next membership at the Y when my mom can come with me; we're going to go in together on it since I'm moving in with her and my stepdad in a month. I'll have my own little apartment in the basement and save money (and pay down debts). Then, in a year, I hope to have my own place (will still probably have to rent for awhile; one year isn't long enough to get out of debt but enough to pay it down) and a full-time job. I just don't know if that's going to be in Bloomington or not. Only God knows that and he isn't giving it up. :-)
6.09.2005
End of day 7
It's the end of my seventh day at my new job. Things are going well. I even got my first paycheck today; it's only 3 days worth though since the pay period ended last Friday. I get paid every other Thursday, so my first full check will be two weeks from today. :-)
The great thing about this job is that I am busy and it's fairly simple to do. Yes, there's a lot of deadlines but it's very strict so clients can't be late. Totally different than at the church. Nobody every acknowledged the deadlines. It was very hard. I know that Emily is now experiencing that headache. But, at times, I really feel that they never utilized me very well so that I wasn't able to apply all my knowledge. Instead, they gave it to someone else and used me in a way that didn't cater to my strengths but my weaknesses. It's no wonder I ended up hating my job. Working here (though it's in advertising), I realize that I am good at what I went to school for. I know now that I would've done much better if I were given the opportunity to really prove myself; I never got that. I was just the "coordinator" and never trusted to use my skills. I mean, I had four or five meetings with our personnel director explaining to him all the things that needed to be done but without given any authority, I couldn't do them. He seemed to be behind me but if he was, my other two employers weren't enough to take his advice. Anyway, I'm feeling much better about myself and my skills; what I've been taught. I mean, I've been in journalism since 10th grade and I studied it for 4 of the 5 1/2 years that I was in college. I need to trust my instincts and my knowledge. If you think about it, they actually lost a good source to take them to the next level. But, then again, Jason always wanted to that himself so I never had a chance really. Oh well. I didn't want to work there much longer anyway. I just can now see that I'm more valuable than I give myself credit for.
Anywho, I don't think this ad is going to get to me soon so I might as well go home. It will have to wait until tomorrow (it's an important one so I was trying to wait to get it and send the proof out tonight but I'm half an hour past when I'm supposed to leave so I can't really stay any longer). See ya! :-)
The great thing about this job is that I am busy and it's fairly simple to do. Yes, there's a lot of deadlines but it's very strict so clients can't be late. Totally different than at the church. Nobody every acknowledged the deadlines. It was very hard. I know that Emily is now experiencing that headache. But, at times, I really feel that they never utilized me very well so that I wasn't able to apply all my knowledge. Instead, they gave it to someone else and used me in a way that didn't cater to my strengths but my weaknesses. It's no wonder I ended up hating my job. Working here (though it's in advertising), I realize that I am good at what I went to school for. I know now that I would've done much better if I were given the opportunity to really prove myself; I never got that. I was just the "coordinator" and never trusted to use my skills. I mean, I had four or five meetings with our personnel director explaining to him all the things that needed to be done but without given any authority, I couldn't do them. He seemed to be behind me but if he was, my other two employers weren't enough to take his advice. Anyway, I'm feeling much better about myself and my skills; what I've been taught. I mean, I've been in journalism since 10th grade and I studied it for 4 of the 5 1/2 years that I was in college. I need to trust my instincts and my knowledge. If you think about it, they actually lost a good source to take them to the next level. But, then again, Jason always wanted to that himself so I never had a chance really. Oh well. I didn't want to work there much longer anyway. I just can now see that I'm more valuable than I give myself credit for.
Anywho, I don't think this ad is going to get to me soon so I might as well go home. It will have to wait until tomorrow (it's an important one so I was trying to wait to get it and send the proof out tonight but I'm half an hour past when I'm supposed to leave so I can't really stay any longer). See ya! :-)
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