Losing it all, or do we?

Here's one of my favorite movie quotes:

"You don't begin to live until you've lost everything." James Garner (also one of my favorite actors, way back to the Rockford Files).

Anyway, in light of current events in my life, this quote - and recent Bible studies - caught my attention today. Miss Social (that's me, if you didn't connect the dots) was on her own almost all day and I didn't mind it one bit because God had me to himself, and He had me a thinkin'.

Here is part of a journal entry today...it's in italics...the rest are my current thoughts a few hours later:

God tells us to give everything up, take up our cross and follow Him. Well, Jesus says it but we all know it's the same. Lately, I've been wondering if any of us really truly do that...before we follow through on something. Do we really give everything up? Or do some of us just pretend and give up something for awhile and try to classify it as giving it "all" up? Then when the thing we really want shows up - though it only looks like it's the real thing, but we know it isn't - we grab ahold, knowing it isn't really the real thing but we feel we've done our time in "giving it up?"

Oh, how I've done that so many times that it's become so easy to be blinded by the fake! It looks so real, so like the original, but it isn't.

And I'm not so sure now that I've ever truly given up everything or known truly that all I needed was Him. I know that He's given me some of the desires in my heart - but I haven't completely given them to Him, willingly and wantingly, to give Him the control in my life. The other desires are not from Him. They have been so hard to give up...especially when I see others who are getting them.....How do I give up those "other" things when parts of them are good? How do I separate the good from the bad? Or is the good I see in them a bad imitation of the real thing so it only "looks" good?

Okay, so that last part is a little cryptic but I didn't want to share all of my journal entry. My point is that sometimes we say we've given something up, only it's mostly lip service...and both God and us know it. Maybe our friends or family or anyone close to us can't see it. But God knows. And I know. Can I ask you to pose the same question to yourself?

I have been bombarded lately with people seeking, serving and pandering the "health and wealth" gospel...and other versions of it. There is a very important difference to having confidence in our Holy Spirit and confidence that if we are aligned with the right people or religion, that we'll be "prosperous" and "have all the true blessings" and always "be healthy" in every sense of the word. That isn't true at all and I'm really tired of people misinterpreting the Bible, old testament and new testament alike. I would like for those people to ask Abraham, Isaac, Job, Elijah, Ruth, Esther, Peter, Paul, John, Stephen...I'll stop there though there are many more...if following Christ meant having a posh life. At no point does God ever say that our lives will be perfect and without trials...and he doesn't ever say that just because we believe in Him, we'll never have trials. He does promise that He will be with us through everything...all believers in Jesus. Why do some people get so lost in having to be "prosperous?"

What He clearly asks us is to give up all of ourselves and follow Him. When we do that, we stop serving ourselves and we serve others. We help each other; we love each other; and we get to spread hope, joy and love to those who don't have any of that! It doesn't mean it won't be hard at times, it most definitely will be. I'm not being pessimistic or realistic...I'm pointing out that the most important thing in this life is to choose to "give it all up" and follow Him. In doing so, we'll spread His word (not ours, or some religion's or preacher's or ministry's) and bring His hope and joy and the promise of an eternal future to those who have no hope, no joy and no future. That is what it is about...and He never promises that it will always be an easy path. Some have died; and will continue to...because we live in a fallen world that has evil at every corner. But God offers us - all that He gives us - is worth giving Him our all and serving Him. Not this world; not something else. Just Him.

And there are a few things I haven't given up completely. I know that at this time in my life, even with all the uncertainty, that one of the things I have to truly give up is this: control over my future and that of those around me. I need to do what I have to but let God direct my steps. I can't sit here and stay on the same path I've been...that has gotten me nowhere because it was always about me. Now, in this moment, I have to do everything I know I'm supposed to do but let God show me the right path. I have some family and friends who are in similar situations...and I'm praying that they'll do the same, and not let their desires - which are not in line with Gods - misdirect them to the wrong path. Sometimes Satan uses those closest to us to misdirect us. Satan is truly not creative; he only uses what is already available. And what he uses can be so tempting and look so real. But he is cunning and we have to be discerning on what's from him and what's from God.

So, currently, I'm praying for wisdom, discernment and faith for everyone around me...including those who seem to be on the right paths...that they'll stay there and not venture to a new one unless it's clearly opened by God. I'm praying also for an open heart and mind for myself; as I find myself at a crossroads where I can go in many directions whether I stay here or move away. There are multiple options in each...and I need God to help show me which way is the best for Him to use me to add to His Kingdom. That is my duty as His daughter - His princess - and I want to graduate with flying colors, even if it means hardship may come my direction. I know it will not be in vain...because more people will know Him and feel the love He has for them. :-)

Before you ask it, no, I'm not "asking for" hardship to come my way. On some days, I feel I've had enough. But, I also know that my "hardships" aren't even close to most people...who may be starving to death, tortured, and the like. No, I really haven't had true hardships. If anything, I'm a bit of hypocrite since I want things to get easier for me, mainly financially. I'm even waiting for a check that could erase all my debt, which is coming from something that caused me pain, my passenger pain and the other driver pain. Really, $ doesn't take away all the pain...but it my case it would help put me in a position to be much more free to serve Him. So I am hoping and praying that the amount on that check "frees" me from bondage to things in this world that I should never let bind me. But it could be God's will for me to work through that bondage...and I have to accept that as well. He only does htings for the good; we make or let the bad happen, even when we know better. Yet, He blesses us anyway.

I just hope that I can one day know that I gave everything up in order to bless others...just like my Father did. He gave up His one and only son...for me...and for you...and for those past, present and future. That is unconditional love. I only hope I can give that back to Him fully one day...and let go of my earthly self in the process.