The dishes in the dishwasher are put away, the dirty ones are now in the dishwasher and the beef enchilada filling is cooking in the slow cooker. I'm now sitting on my couch, my 49er blanket on my lap, watching a TV show and a plethora of thoughts suddenly came to me that I have to write down.
I had a great weekend...okay, so most of my days right now are like an extended weekend because I'm not working at the moment...because I spent it with a lot of friends. The only two friends I think I didn't see was April & Jason (well, of the ones that I'm closest with, anyway). Each event had it's own fun little theme to it and it got me to thinking. I truly have a very different, amazing, ecclectic, intelligent, talented, supportive, strong, faithful group of friends. There are so many ways that we are similar and so many ways that we're all very, very different. The journey that I've been on with them has been surreal at times....in good and bad ways. There have been hills, vallies, mountains, deep waters, straight and curvy roads...but they all have been marked with growth, sometimes together and sometimes apart.
I have to admit that I haven't always "rolled with the punches" or taken any changes well. But I don't have any regrets...and that's what inspired me to write this. I think we all wish that we made certain decisions that we didn't...it would've saved us a lot of heartache. But then we would have stunted our growth....so I don't regret anything.
What I do want though is to always keep in mind who my friends really are - that I always treat them with respect for being different or the same as me in ways...that I accept them always for who they are and not who I want them to be. That would be very selfish, and very human, for me to do or want.
And I hope that - no I know that - my friends feel the same about me. I am accepted for who I am, whether I change or stay the same.
I guess that I'm a little sentimental today after such a "friendly" weekend. I could possibly find a job elsewhere, far away from anyone I know. That's scary but something that many times I'm starting to believe: she's told me that I have a wonderful ability to make good friends wherever I go and she's been a witness to that firsthand. As I think about the friends I've made, there have only been a handful that were not good friends. For the most part, I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people. I see now that I've always had that blessing, not just here in Indiana.
So wherever I end up, I know there will be friends there - they just don't know me yet. :-)
1.25.2010
1.16.2010
Football vs. Soccer
Okay, so I'm a 33 yr. old petite woman who still loves sports. I have my favorites (which a lot of my friends oppose...and that's the nice way of saying it) just like everyone else. But I don't actually know exactly why I love one sport more than another. Some just entertain me and some don't.
What's funny about being 33 and not knowing this is that a 4 yr. old knows exactly why he hates football and why he loves soccer (futbol, for those who aren't American). I asked him why he wasn't wanting to watch the Colts game with his mom and I. He said, "I hate football. I hate all sports. I only like soccer." I asked him why. "Because I only like to kick." I laughed pretty hard. If you happen to know this 4 yr. old, you would've laughed too because he does like to kick...hence that's why he likes soccer over football, or any other sport.
Hmmm...sometimes I wonder if we just need to think like a 4 yr. old. As adults, we tend to make things much more complicated than it needs to be. Kids just like things and do things because they like them. So why is it so hard for us to do the same? Even God asked us to come to Him like little children. Why? Because the best things and the most worthy things in life are the simple things, the little things. Life is not supposed to be a calculus problem. It's supposed to be simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. And yet, we try to come up with complicated formulas to figure out the most basic things in life.
Do something because you like it.
Do something because you're good at it.
Do something because it helps someone.
Do something because it's right.
Do something because it makes you or others happy.
Do something because it makes this world a better place.
Don't ask the same questions over and over.
Don't think for days or months or years on end.
Don't just plan.
Don't wait.
Don't keep making the same list.
I think Nike said it best: Just do it.
Go for it. Reach for it. Grab it. Make it yours.
So much power in so many little words...and yet we miss the message. I missed the message.
Not anymore. Not in 2010....or 2020....or 2030...or 2040...or 2050...or even after, assuming I'm still alive after that. I will be 74 in 2050; that's a neat thing to think about. I hope by then I'll look back at 2010 and see that I changed my life for the better and lived a life with fewer regrets than before because...
...I just did it. I found my soccer and I just kept kicking. :-)
What's funny about being 33 and not knowing this is that a 4 yr. old knows exactly why he hates football and why he loves soccer (futbol, for those who aren't American). I asked him why he wasn't wanting to watch the Colts game with his mom and I. He said, "I hate football. I hate all sports. I only like soccer." I asked him why. "Because I only like to kick." I laughed pretty hard. If you happen to know this 4 yr. old, you would've laughed too because he does like to kick...hence that's why he likes soccer over football, or any other sport.
Hmmm...sometimes I wonder if we just need to think like a 4 yr. old. As adults, we tend to make things much more complicated than it needs to be. Kids just like things and do things because they like them. So why is it so hard for us to do the same? Even God asked us to come to Him like little children. Why? Because the best things and the most worthy things in life are the simple things, the little things. Life is not supposed to be a calculus problem. It's supposed to be simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. And yet, we try to come up with complicated formulas to figure out the most basic things in life.
Do something because you like it.
Do something because you're good at it.
Do something because it helps someone.
Do something because it's right.
Do something because it makes you or others happy.
Do something because it makes this world a better place.
Don't ask the same questions over and over.
Don't think for days or months or years on end.
Don't just plan.
Don't wait.
Don't keep making the same list.
I think Nike said it best: Just do it.
Go for it. Reach for it. Grab it. Make it yours.
So much power in so many little words...and yet we miss the message. I missed the message.
Not anymore. Not in 2010....or 2020....or 2030...or 2040...or 2050...or even after, assuming I'm still alive after that. I will be 74 in 2050; that's a neat thing to think about. I hope by then I'll look back at 2010 and see that I changed my life for the better and lived a life with fewer regrets than before because...
...I just did it. I found my soccer and I just kept kicking. :-)
1.14.2010
Smile
Today in my life I can see a lot of things without a smile on my face. I can get down on myself (which, I confess, is easy for me to do) very easily for being laid off at my job, still having debt and not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring. I'm 33 with a one bedroom apartment, no boyfriend (not even dating), no kids, no pets, no career, not much moolah in the bank...and I can go on. I have so many things that I can choose to keep a smile from gracing my face.
In my previous post I talked about love; not just having it but living it. Being love and pursuing love for real; not settling for anything less for yourself, for others or of yourself.
Well, that goes for smiling, too. A little confused? Yeah, I hear ya...but hear me. A smile is such an incredible tool to have. A smile has the amazing gift to turn what is the worst thought, situation or feeling completely around. There is nothing that a smile can't cure. So why is it so hard to do? Why do we let ourselves hide our smiles? I hide mine all the time...everyday. There are moments that I smile during the day...but you know what? Today was different. I smiled all day long...and you know what else? It wasn't hard! It was easy! How about them apples? Everytime I thought about my situation (since I have a lot of time on my hands, it's easy to just think a lot), I didn't let myself get too far until I made myself smile. That's all I did: smile. No reason. I just did it. And you know what? Though I couldn't see it, I felt it. It changed my mood and I focused on the positive.
So, my challenge to you? Next time you feel down, make yourself smile...for no reason. And if that doesn't work, think of something or someone who makes you smile. Then just smile. Or find a movie, song, joke that makes you smile.
I've written just the chorus to my new favorite song (for right now) here. It's "Smile" by Uncle Cracker. These lyrics make me smile. :-)
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile.
Last thought on smiling...the more you do it, the better you are at, the more people around you will see it, the more they'll do it, too...the more they'll smile back at you.
That makes you (and me) smile more. It's a glorious cycle, this smiling.
By the way, I've been smiling since the first word of this blog. :-)
In my previous post I talked about love; not just having it but living it. Being love and pursuing love for real; not settling for anything less for yourself, for others or of yourself.
Well, that goes for smiling, too. A little confused? Yeah, I hear ya...but hear me. A smile is such an incredible tool to have. A smile has the amazing gift to turn what is the worst thought, situation or feeling completely around. There is nothing that a smile can't cure. So why is it so hard to do? Why do we let ourselves hide our smiles? I hide mine all the time...everyday. There are moments that I smile during the day...but you know what? Today was different. I smiled all day long...and you know what else? It wasn't hard! It was easy! How about them apples? Everytime I thought about my situation (since I have a lot of time on my hands, it's easy to just think a lot), I didn't let myself get too far until I made myself smile. That's all I did: smile. No reason. I just did it. And you know what? Though I couldn't see it, I felt it. It changed my mood and I focused on the positive.
So, my challenge to you? Next time you feel down, make yourself smile...for no reason. And if that doesn't work, think of something or someone who makes you smile. Then just smile. Or find a movie, song, joke that makes you smile.
I've written just the chorus to my new favorite song (for right now) here. It's "Smile" by Uncle Cracker. These lyrics make me smile. :-)
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile.
Last thought on smiling...the more you do it, the better you are at, the more people around you will see it, the more they'll do it, too...the more they'll smile back at you.
That makes you (and me) smile more. It's a glorious cycle, this smiling.
By the way, I've been smiling since the first word of this blog. :-)
1.12.2010
Love, don't let it go
I've been writing a lot lately...it's come and gone at times in the last week but it's there. It's something that I truly love to do. But what I love about it is that I get to create something new. Some of the words are the same and some are new...but it's always a different story, with different people, and different situations. Lately, I've been inspired to write about relationships between men and women...something that I've not done a lot of before. And I've concluded something.
Before I say what...I want to point out a few things. Our lives are surrounded by this subject constantly and consistently. Even if you think you don't have it, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you do. Everyone has someone to love them or something to love. Don't just apply that love to people: it could be animals, a job, a charity, whatever. We all love something.
And we also look for love and make our lives about love. Just look at our media industry - we write, film, record, discuss, buy, sell love in books, plays, movies, musicals, online dating, speed dating, dating services. We are obsessed with love, finding it, exploring, learning about it, desiring it, wanting it, forcing it.
Here's one thing that I'm not sure a lot of us have a handle on when it comes to love: living it. For some - or dare I say, most - once we find it, we've forgotten how to live it. Truly live it. I'm not talking about for awhile; just during the butterflies. I'm talking about forever; constant; consistent; unconditional; unashamed; disciplined; all-consuming; passionate; beautiful love.
I've known a lot of people who have taken love for granted, whether that was with a person or something else. I've also known people who cherish it for what it is. The problem is that there is an increasing amount of negative love out there that we are seeing; that people are portraying as real love. And it isn't. Love is not a word to throw around. It's a word that should mean a whole heck of a lot when said.
It's not to be said in real life just out of emotion. It has to meant and felt and lived. Lived. Alive. Action; not just words. Saying it and showing it are not mutually exclusive; they are mutually active.
That's the kind of love that I want to have; to find; to be to someone; to be to me.
If you have that now, hold onto it. Nurture it. Treat it well. Don't "get used" to it. Keep it fresh. Keep it important. Do little things in addition to the big things.
If you don't have it yet, look for this kind of love. Don't settle for less. Find the real thing. Hold out for it. But, first, learn to give it. Giving it is the most important thing; the next is receiving. It's amazing how it works that way.
I have not found love with a man; not this kind of love. But I've found one even better: with God, my Jesus, His Holy Spirit. He is the greatest Love. And He is the first example, the best example of this perfect love I'm talking about.
It's livable and doable - even for us humans, the imperfect.
I'm holding out for no less than the love that God has for me and I for Him.
That's what came to me today while I was writing...one of my true loves...of which I have found again. It's good to have one of my loves back...and it's teaching me how to love again.
Before I say what...I want to point out a few things. Our lives are surrounded by this subject constantly and consistently. Even if you think you don't have it, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you do. Everyone has someone to love them or something to love. Don't just apply that love to people: it could be animals, a job, a charity, whatever. We all love something.
And we also look for love and make our lives about love. Just look at our media industry - we write, film, record, discuss, buy, sell love in books, plays, movies, musicals, online dating, speed dating, dating services. We are obsessed with love, finding it, exploring, learning about it, desiring it, wanting it, forcing it.
Here's one thing that I'm not sure a lot of us have a handle on when it comes to love: living it. For some - or dare I say, most - once we find it, we've forgotten how to live it. Truly live it. I'm not talking about for awhile; just during the butterflies. I'm talking about forever; constant; consistent; unconditional; unashamed; disciplined; all-consuming; passionate; beautiful love.
I've known a lot of people who have taken love for granted, whether that was with a person or something else. I've also known people who cherish it for what it is. The problem is that there is an increasing amount of negative love out there that we are seeing; that people are portraying as real love. And it isn't. Love is not a word to throw around. It's a word that should mean a whole heck of a lot when said.
It's not to be said in real life just out of emotion. It has to meant and felt and lived. Lived. Alive. Action; not just words. Saying it and showing it are not mutually exclusive; they are mutually active.
That's the kind of love that I want to have; to find; to be to someone; to be to me.
If you have that now, hold onto it. Nurture it. Treat it well. Don't "get used" to it. Keep it fresh. Keep it important. Do little things in addition to the big things.
If you don't have it yet, look for this kind of love. Don't settle for less. Find the real thing. Hold out for it. But, first, learn to give it. Giving it is the most important thing; the next is receiving. It's amazing how it works that way.
I have not found love with a man; not this kind of love. But I've found one even better: with God, my Jesus, His Holy Spirit. He is the greatest Love. And He is the first example, the best example of this perfect love I'm talking about.
It's livable and doable - even for us humans, the imperfect.
I'm holding out for no less than the love that God has for me and I for Him.
That's what came to me today while I was writing...one of my true loves...of which I have found again. It's good to have one of my loves back...and it's teaching me how to love again.
1.04.2010
Musings of a laid off lady
OH, blog, I have been away so long. There has been much to say but no words to truly write...though I have been doing a lot of writing. It started with a re-emergence of an old story, a new came to me in a dream, and just today another idea came rushing into my head. It's funny though...all three have to do with relationships. They have to do with choosing, making decisions on what's right or wrong, ethical or unethical, Godly or ungodly, want or need, which man/which woman to choose, truly which path to take.
And then it dawned on me...all these stories in my head, these relationships, the situations that these people are in are so very real and so very much what my life is about, at least right now. Exploring them and ruminating, even dreaming, about the stories/the people in them, has just opened my eyes to a new world...a world that a lot choose to hide from...because it's messy. And then the second thing dawned on me...it's something that I used to hide from...the messy of relationships. Of course, I've also messed up some of them...they all haven't been the fault of others involved; I'm not silly enough or in denial enough to think that my pretty little hands weren't involved in some way to ruin them.
But at the end of the day, none of us are perfect. No one escapes failures and flaws and everyone has thier messes to clean up.
Right now, I'm looking for a job...but what I truly desire is to take all the stories that are in this head and put them to paper and have people read them, and enjoy them, and be touched by them, and not judge me for them, and love the risks I take with them, and hate that I don't risk enough in some. I want it all...the good, the bad, the ugly...because I want people to feel something when they read something of mine...whether it's pain because the words I've written opened a wound they would just as soon keep hidden, or make them cry and laugh tears of joy (yes, you can laugh tears of joy, I've done it many times, you should try it...it feels amazing) because they are so touched by the words on the page.
But I also want those same words to inspire people to live...to live in ways that I have not. To not be afraid of who you are - the good, the bad, the ugly - and to celebrate it - yes, fix what needs to be fixed - and to not be ashamed of it.
Well, I've begun to do that. In fact, I started the first one on Jan. 2, 2010. I like hats. Always have. Rarely worn. So, when I went shopping, I wore my black newspaper boy hat with a buckle on it. All day, I was complemented. Seriously! I even had a lady in line at Best Buy follow me to the check out register and proceeded to gush over my said hat and how cute I looked in it all while I was purchasing my items. An entire conversation transpired - all of the two minutes it took to purchase my items - just because of my hat. So, yesterday, when I was using a gift card at Charlotte Russe and had a few dollars left on it, I went back to where the hats were and picked up the one I had tried on three times in the 20 minutes I was in the store. I wore it today...all day. I wasn't out much...just to the airport and back...but I enjoyed wearing it. It was one little thing that made me happy and made me, well, a little more me.
And now, while writing on my blog for the first time in this decade, my head keeps thinking back to that new story, the third one, that I have thought of...and you know what I've realized about it? It's a screenplay. It isn't a short story at all. It's meant to be acted. I've never written a screen play. I've written a play and started a screen play...but never finished it. Probably because it wasn't the right story. Yeah, that just came to me, too. :-) It wasn't the right story; but this one is. And there are only four characters, two of which will take up the majority of the play/movie, etc. Hmmm...funny how sometimes when you're just writing your thoughts down...a story emerges and the dominoes that wouldn't fall for the longest time start falling. Wow...kinda nice when that happens and you think of yourself as a writer....it gives you hope that you just might be. At least, someday. :-)
And then it dawned on me...all these stories in my head, these relationships, the situations that these people are in are so very real and so very much what my life is about, at least right now. Exploring them and ruminating, even dreaming, about the stories/the people in them, has just opened my eyes to a new world...a world that a lot choose to hide from...because it's messy. And then the second thing dawned on me...it's something that I used to hide from...the messy of relationships. Of course, I've also messed up some of them...they all haven't been the fault of others involved; I'm not silly enough or in denial enough to think that my pretty little hands weren't involved in some way to ruin them.
But at the end of the day, none of us are perfect. No one escapes failures and flaws and everyone has thier messes to clean up.
Right now, I'm looking for a job...but what I truly desire is to take all the stories that are in this head and put them to paper and have people read them, and enjoy them, and be touched by them, and not judge me for them, and love the risks I take with them, and hate that I don't risk enough in some. I want it all...the good, the bad, the ugly...because I want people to feel something when they read something of mine...whether it's pain because the words I've written opened a wound they would just as soon keep hidden, or make them cry and laugh tears of joy (yes, you can laugh tears of joy, I've done it many times, you should try it...it feels amazing) because they are so touched by the words on the page.
But I also want those same words to inspire people to live...to live in ways that I have not. To not be afraid of who you are - the good, the bad, the ugly - and to celebrate it - yes, fix what needs to be fixed - and to not be ashamed of it.
Well, I've begun to do that. In fact, I started the first one on Jan. 2, 2010. I like hats. Always have. Rarely worn. So, when I went shopping, I wore my black newspaper boy hat with a buckle on it. All day, I was complemented. Seriously! I even had a lady in line at Best Buy follow me to the check out register and proceeded to gush over my said hat and how cute I looked in it all while I was purchasing my items. An entire conversation transpired - all of the two minutes it took to purchase my items - just because of my hat. So, yesterday, when I was using a gift card at Charlotte Russe and had a few dollars left on it, I went back to where the hats were and picked up the one I had tried on three times in the 20 minutes I was in the store. I wore it today...all day. I wasn't out much...just to the airport and back...but I enjoyed wearing it. It was one little thing that made me happy and made me, well, a little more me.
And now, while writing on my blog for the first time in this decade, my head keeps thinking back to that new story, the third one, that I have thought of...and you know what I've realized about it? It's a screenplay. It isn't a short story at all. It's meant to be acted. I've never written a screen play. I've written a play and started a screen play...but never finished it. Probably because it wasn't the right story. Yeah, that just came to me, too. :-) It wasn't the right story; but this one is. And there are only four characters, two of which will take up the majority of the play/movie, etc. Hmmm...funny how sometimes when you're just writing your thoughts down...a story emerges and the dominoes that wouldn't fall for the longest time start falling. Wow...kinda nice when that happens and you think of yourself as a writer....it gives you hope that you just might be. At least, someday. :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
