Post 112: Five stories

That's how many I'm sending in to the Reader's Digest contest. I probably won't win anything but I want to at least try. I found another contest, too, and am going to enter that. I have less than two weeks, though. The good thing is that four of my stories qualify for four of the categories. The fifth story? That's the bad thing: it isn't written yet and it isn't going to qualify for one of the story categories. It's going to qualify for the screenplay category. Since I've only written one play before and never have written a screenplay, it will be a little challenging but I know that I can do it. I just have to do it very, very soon. I have to test myself - if I'm ever going to give myself a chance at pursuing my life-long dream of being an author.

I've gotten back to some good writing habits - I even journaled during a party I was at last Saturday night. It was nice to do it and easier than I remembered. Nobody really cared that I was doing it so there weren't a lot of questions; my train of thought wasn't interrupted and that was such a good thing. And I didn't really feel like I was neglected because nobody noticed or asked about what I was doing - which is something I would've felt before now. Maybe I'm just grown up enough to be real in my endeavor; maybe I've lived enough to get started with my life, my writing life.

On a sad note, one of my grandfather's is fighting for his life right now. I may be flying to CA in the next couple days to attend his funeral. Though death never comes at a good ime, his funeral may be on the same day of a close friends wedding. I'm so excited for the wedding; but so sad that my family will be going through such a hard time right now. I feel a bit selfish at wanting him to hang on until after the wedding. Let's be realistic: I am being really selfish at wanting him to hang on until after the wedding. I just wanted to be there for my friend at a time that has been so many years in the making. It's such a brilliant day for her and I want to be there to help her celebrate. But my family comes first; even my stepfamily, which my grandfather is my stepmom's dad. Her family accepted me so easily and right away. I was the first granddaughter. I felt very loved from the beginning. Though I'm not Bettencourt blood, they've always treated me as such. I have been truly, truly grateful for their acceptance and love towards me. I want to be there for them but it's hard to not to want to be there for my friend, too. I'll just see what God's plan is; His is the only one I should be following anyway.

So this week may be an interesting one. I don't know where I'm going to be on what day. And I'm starting to think that maybe that's how we should attack our lives each morning - with a sense that we don't know what's going to happen so we should do our best and live our best each day. Who knows where we'll be tomorrow? Or who we'll meet? I might get on a plane tomorrow and meet the person who's going to be pivotal in jump starting my writing career; or I'll sit next to the man that I'm supposed to marry one day; or I'll see an old friend that I've lost touch with. So why do I stress for what's going to happen today when I have no real control over it and should just be the best person I can be? Well, no more. I'm going to start each day excited that I don't know what's going to happen. I have more confidence in myself and that I'm going to be able to say or do the right things. I won't be perfect but I'll be bolder.

I just wish it would finally stop raining here. I'm about ready to start building my own ark - and I'm not a boat person. :-)