Unwell Clarity

Before I head to bed, and though my body isn't any more well than this morning, I have to write a little something. Sometimes when I'm unwell I'm actually the most clear. I may not be able to speak much right now or have much energy but sometimes I can actually think. And one of the things that I'm thinking is that I'm getting to know myself more everyday and that reflection is good for a person. Yes, I can rationalize too much...but tonight I came to a few realizations about myself and the people around me.

For one, I've looked at the wrong thing in people and myself. Whether it's a friend, boyfriend, co-worker or family member, sometimes I focus on the wrong things in the individual, either glossing over the red flags or the true person they are on the inside. I don't see them for who they truly are and who God sees them as. It's so hard to realize my limitations and imperfections.

For two, I've not always given myself credit when it's due either. I was pondering a recent guy I dated earlier today and started to wonder if I'd made a hasty decision. But I know that I didn't. It was the right decision. I shouldn't be with anyone that I have to completely change for...regardless of the attraction either way. We all have things that we need to change in our lives...to be better people. But to place our identity completely as someone else's just to please them is not, in any way, right for either person. And that works for anything. We have to be true to the people that God made us...the unique, perfect, priceless person that God created us to be. And we cannot stay in a relationship where the other person does not trea us with the respect and love that we desire; neither should we stay in a relationship that we aren't caring for the way we should. It's not fair to the other person; and it's pretty selfish of us.

And that goes for me and my penchant to be self-depricating even when I know the decision was right. So, on a couple of questions I've been asking myself, I'm finally clear on the answers...and they were the same answers to begin with...but good to know that I was right all along.