Conviction of the Heart

"And down your streets I've walked alone, as if my feet were not my own. Such is the path I chose, doors I have opened and closed. I'm tired of living this lie, fooling myself, believing we're right. I've never given love with any conviction of the heart...how much longer must we wait to change this world that we live in; to know what it is to forgive, be forgiven. "

It all starts with heart - the convictions that live within it. What we truly are at our center - God's chosen; His living, breathing, thinking, feeling creation - human beings. We aren't perfect and we never will be. We were made, however, to be like Him, "in His image."

Today, though, I was upset at my reaction to something at work. Getting work an hour and a half before I leave on a Friday is never fun; especially when it will more than likely make you stay longer than normal - and you have plans that night! But, sitting here writing this, I'm actually almost done with my project. So why did I react by saying, "Can I go scream now?" I mean it isn't taking me that long; it isn't difficult. I was calm about it but maybe my attitude was a bit unprofessional and rude. It is things like this that have shown me that I don't like this part of me right now. I never used to be this way. Things are going to happen at the last minute; that's a given. But I have noticed that I don't do things in love much anymore. I need to get back to that; to that person I was (and was growing into even more) that did everything out of love and a real desire to serve. My convictions aren't in the right place right now. Like Ricki always told Lucy, "You've got some explain' to do." I have some explaining to do; but so does everyone else. I know it isn't just me; I can't blame myself for everyone else's inequities. I need to remember that and not be so hard on myself; it's not good for my confidence - or my heart.

My heart is a precious thing - I need to take care of it much better; and use it much more compassionately.