My New Year's Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Because I didn't get to see some of you this New Year, I wanted to make sure that I I wrote the following thoughts on my blog. I hope that you were able to spend a very happy new year with your friends and/or family.

Mine was pretty nice. I had a good time and was able to relax for a little bit.

However, it was also a thinking week for me. I'd like to let you guys in on a few thoughts and resolutions for my new.

Let me begin by saying that I do not think of myself as a very brilliant person or that my advice is always good. But some things have been revealed to me over the past week (well, year, really) that as I grow closer to my 30th year on this planet (77 days and counting), are good to reflect upon. And since I'm reflecting, I thought that maybe, as my friends, you should know what I'm probably going to be concerned with for the next year.

First is that to have friends you first have to be a friend. I'm not sure I've done this so well this year. At times, I have been okay. And at other times, I have really screwed up. But I've learned a lot from the screw ups about myself and my friends. Including the big fact that the people who stuck by me through my difficulties have proven to be my true friends. The people who give me advice that I don't want to hear but know I need to are my true friends. Those who forgive me for my flaws are also my true friends. And those that I do the same for - forgive, advise and stand by - I regard as my true friends. Friendships aren't always peachy keen. There are times where differences will create conflict - Jennie and I know. There was a time about four or five years ago that really tested our friendship (that situation stays between the two of us; so don't ask me what it was). It proved to strengthen it instead of weaken it. So, really, it's how you get past those conflicts that makes your friendship - or breaks it.

Second, there are important things in life and urgent things in life. Don't get them mixed up. The urgent things are our daily tasks: go to work (on time), take out the trash, get gas in the car, mail out that bill before it's too late, etc. The important things in life are those things that make a difference: communicating with our families and friends frequently (making sure that they know they are important to you - I'll be the first to admit that I'm not so great at this but I am determined to get better), serving others at every opportunity and continually growing to be a better person tomorrow than you are today. I am just like everyone else: I put the urgent things before the important things, always. It gets worse every year. This year was one of the hardest for me. Trying to put some of the important things first meant giving up the urgent things; that proved to be too hard at times so I failed. The urgent things won and the important things got pushed aside. We don't know how long we're going to be living on this earth so every day is important. But it's also important to know that there is another day to wake up to; some things you just have to let go and let God take control. He's the only one who knows the number of our days and He's the only one we can truly trust our days with.

Third, take risks. Don't sit on the sideline. Get out and play (and I don't mean just sports). I mean love with abandon, forget your fears and enjoy your life! Don't let the bah-humbugs of the world keep you down. Smile and laugh when they frown and do something that is so unlike you that it baffles them but doesn't define you. One thing that I have realized about myself is that I am a risk-taker. Believe it or not, I take risks everyday. I fought for my dream of being a dancer and guess what? I may not have succeeded the way I wanted but I'm still dancing; and loving every minute of it. I may not have published any of my writing yet but I've gone through the steps toward that goal. Now, all I have to do is take that last step and start submitting some of my stories. Whether I succeed or fail isn't important; it's that I took the risk. How are you going to know if you're good at something if you don't actually try? Lastly, take the risk to love someone: an enemy (which, of course, none of us have, right?), a friend, a family member that needs you but won't admit it or a person you're crushing on. In our world today, we don't "touch" each other enough. Guys are afraid to ask out girls and girls are afraid to say yes to some of the guys that do ask. We live in a culture immersed in divorce, one-night stands and quickie marraiges. But don't sit out of the whole dance. Do a little waltz; if your partner steps on your feet, change partners. Maybe try a swing this time. Find the one that you dance the best with, not the one that everyone thinks you dance the best with. You may have to go through some pretty bad dancers before you find Mr. or Mrs. Right. But if you don't have anything in common with the partner and have no interest, don't give them false hope by continually saying yes just because you want to dance. Respect yourself and them by being real and genuine. You'll both be better for it. And let go of relationships that are going nowhere. If it isn't happening or "growing," then it isn't what God wants for you, period. Take a risk and walk away. If it's meant to be, God will bring it back to you. If not, then you know He has something so much better for you. And that should excite you more about your future.

Fourth, well, it's kinda like number 3 in some ways and number 1 in other ways - feel. Really feel. Don't let the things going on around you get you down so much that you have a "Such is life" attitude. I'm such an example of this sometimes. The old saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," I found really works. When things get bad, do something to make them better. Don't sit and sulk. Of course, there will be times when we need help. Reach out to someone you trust. Invite them over to help you make that lemonade. Sometimes we forget an important ingredient in lemonade: the sugar, pure real sugar. To me, the sugars are the people in our life that makes us who we are. God didn't make us to be alone: otherwise none of us would be here. There would be only one person and one name: Adam. I have known more than one Adam in my young life so far...and Jennifer's and Rebecca's and Doug's and Patty's and Mike's and Stacy's and Amy's and Susan's and Alis...oops, sorry, I've only known one Alisa. :-) And I like the fact that I've know more than one of all of your names. Each have had something spectacular about them that I felt really special to get to know. Take inventory of your friends and family; find the good in them. Forgive the bad but help them to fix it, too. You wouldn't be a good friend if you didn't care enough to do that.

One side note to number 4: call each other. Talk. In person, on the phone, doesn't matter. We don't call each other back right away. We are too tired or it's too late. So leave a message. We have gotten into the habit of taking talking to one another for granted. I'll be the first to admit that I don't call enough. But I've also learned that some don't call me right back anyway. I will no longer care about that. I may call you more than once in a day (and vice versa): return the call. Don't wait two or three days unless you really can't help it. Being respectful of each other means communicating even when you don't want to; it's another way the urgent things have replaced the important things.

Fifth, and last, celebrate your birthday! Okay, so I'm never going to give up trying to convince everyone I know that their birthday is a very special day. I know that this part of me will never change (even though I've finally given over that my subconscious is a little worried about turning 30). I'll always love to celebrate my birthday and yours - if you let me. Remember that it's the one day every year that you deserve to do something that makes you happy. I realize that sometimes I go overboard on mine but this year I put the planning of it in a friends hands. The only thing you'll be hearing from me is how long you have to prepare (77 days...or did I already mention that?). :-)

Like I said at the beginning of this: I don't pretend to be brilliant or to have advice that we haven't heard before. But this is me we're talking about. I'm a slow learner in everything: school, work, relationships - especially relationships. I just had to get these things out of my mind and written down somewhere and it just fit that I'd do it in a way that you all could read at once and in a central place.

I pray that no matter what happens between you and I, 2006 will be a year of blessings for all - no matter what those blessings entail. It's all good because it's all about God and His will for us. We just have to enjoy the ride. :-)