Post 153: Taking a Break

There are some things in life that you can take a break and it be a positive thing; but finding a job, whether it's full or part-time, isn't one of them. And though things may not be going well so you are getting frustrated, you can't stop. You have to push through it and keep sending out those resumes, no matter how depressed or mad you are becoming.

The advice that everyone gives you, too, doesn't always help. It's not that they aren't giving it out of love - they are - but all it does sometimes is confuse you. It's hard to pick out which one of all the advice you've been given is the right one for your situation. Case in point: I'm at an impasse right now. I've been giving finding both a part-time and full-time job the same attention. I've gotten a few interviews for the full-times and have been in the top two or three but I haven't been the one selected. It's great to be in the top three considered but it keeps happening. I know that I should think of it as I'm not meant to be in those positions but it's hard to have confidence when you're basically always coming in second. For the part-time jobs, none of them are working with my current work schedule; and I can't quit the one I have now to take one of the other ones because I'd need two jobs still - but the hours are the same so that won't work either. Hmmm....frustrated? Yeah, that's just the tip of the ice berg.

Taking a break...well...it's just not possible in situations like this. I can't do much more to cut down on my bills; I'm pretty much at the minimum I can have right now. I just have to have patience and believe that something good is going to happen even when all I see is negatives all around me.

The good part of all this? I've changed the hand my ring is on. I moved it from my right to my left. It is an aquamarine ring that could be mistaken for a diamond from a short distance. It is reminding me that the most important person in my life right now and always in Christ. Before you have any advice on that it may be wrong for me to do this, I want to inform you of the fact that I only wear my ring on my left hand when I'm home. My friends and family, well, they'd give me too much grief about it's sending the wrong message and I really don't want to hear it right now. But when I'm home, I switch it over. It is a constant reminder that Christ is the one that has to lead me into my future and in every moment of my day.

In addition, I'm currently reading a book given to me from a friend that really puts things in perspective. I don't have a lot of things I desire (or that God desires for me) but I know I'm on the right path. There are days I want to give up; just throw in the towel and let life suck everything out of me. Then there are days that I really don't care one way or another. Still other days are like today: though I still don't have a clue and am frustated about how things are going, I know that there is that perverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to keep my eyes open, my feet walking straight forward and my breath calm. There will come a day that I will start to see things change for the better; I have to realize that it may take awhile.

In fact, it is going to take me at the least three years to get completely out of debt. So it is definitely going to take awhile for things to change for the better. Though it would be great if it could all happen tomorrow, that is so unrealistic - almost impossible since I don't play the lottery anymore. It's also not like some person is going to meet me and then say, "Hey, I want to give you this money. Don't want it; don't need it. Here you go." So not going to happen. :-) Anyway, I have time to pursue some goals while I'm pursuing the goal of getting out of debt - so I have to keep that my focus, my motivation that things will get better if I just keep working hard adn stay dedicated.

So simple, huh? And yet it's so difficult. But the difficulty is what makes the things that are the most worthwhile...well...the most worthwhile. :-)